Living Hell: How Does Your Gambling Affect Your Family?

A study has found that living with a gambling addict can be a daily hell, as not only do family members face being wiped out financially by the gambler’s debts, but also live in a state of ‘persistent fear’ and could be ostracised by the community. According to Institute of Policy Studies research fellow Mathew Mathews, this study is Singapore’s first to examine the impact of gambling addiction on families.

The Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports, commissioned Dr Mathews study in 2010. The results of the research, which was a qualitative study of 50 relatives of gamblers – including spouses, adult children, parents and siblings, were made public at a conference organised by the National Council on Problem Gambling. It is obviously known that compulsive gambling tears families apart, but Dr Mathews’ research showed just how bad it can get. He said, ‘Everyone in the family feels the burden of the addiction. The closer you are to the gambler, the worse the impact.’

The study showed that gambling debts, which ranged from tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars, plunged formerly middle class families into poverty. Roughly 25% of those who were interviewed had to sell their houses in order to pay loan sharks and other creditors, with some of them having to live like nomads and shuttle between relatives who would put them up. Some spouses had to take up extra jobs, and children too were reported to earn their keep by working after school or during the school holidays.

The study also revealed that gamblers who beg others repeatedly for loans don’t only cause themselves to be shunned by relatives, but also immediate family members can be ostracised from the wider family. This means that it can be hard for families to share their woes with their friends for fear of being shunned again, and so they live in a state of ‘persistent fear’ as well as anger, helplessness and other painful emotions.

Dr Mathews commented, ‘The threats never end and the problems never stop. It could be threats from loan sharks or the gambler threatening suicide. And you will never know how much more the gambler will borrow from loan sharks.’  He added, ‘What is not helpful is continuing to give in to the gambler’s demands for money as he will just continue to gamble. These demands never end. My advice to families is: get help.’

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