Selfishness in bed is a common problem and can creep in unnoticed – if you know your partners body well and know how to please them, you stop trying and begin to do the minimum required to make them happy. Why go through the effort of foreplay if you can go through the same routine and get to the same point? Laziness or selfishness in bed can cause problems to set in, so if you feel as though you’re getting stuck in a routine you should aim to spice things up. Talk to your partner and see how they feel about the issue – find out what they like and don’t like, and try to incorporate some new things into your relationship. Is there a fantasy either one of you has always wanted to act out? Communication is key so talk it out with your partner.
Emotional baggage from a previous relationship or partner can often cause problems in your current relationship. If you’re feeling insecure or anxious, it can be difficult to overcome that. However, it’s important to accept that the past is the past if you want to develop a better relationship with your partner. Remember that the relationship ended for a reason, so no matter how great you may imagine it being now, chances are it wasn’t as brilliant in reality. If you’re still feeling unsure about your body or emotions, write a list about your good points and read it over each day to help you develop more confidence. This will feed into your sex life to help create a better partnership with your lover.