Experts now believe that loneliness is twice as deadly as obesity and even more dangerous than smoking. As an emotion, it is as much a part of being alive as hunger, love or death, yet remains one of our greatest taboos. Even when surrounded by people, we can experience loneliness, because it is not about being alone, it’s about being unable to connect with others.
And it can affect everything from your emotional wellness to your immune system.
A growing body of evidence links loneliness to dementia, depression and accidents, disrupted sleep, a weakened immune system, stress and inflammation. One study found that isolation increased the risk of heart disease and stroke by a third. Another found that socially isolated women had a 40% higher risk of recurrence of breast cancer and a 60% higher risk of dying. Data from 70 studies examining the lives of 3.4 million people found that the lonely were 30% more likely to die in the following seven years.
Modern society is making us even lonelier
Today there are more ways to connect than ever, yet more of us are suffering social isolation. Families are shrinking and more people are living alone.
Single-person households are on the rise as opportunities for meaningful human connection are lost in a digital world. People watch films on their laptops instead of going to the cinema and social media leads us to believe that everyone else has a ‘perfect’ life. There’s even been the emergence of a ‘loneliness’ industry with countless books, dating sites and, ironically, apps to help deal with loneliness.
But loneliness isn’t new – it has always been part of the human condition.
Learning to deal with loneliness
Loneliness may be the result of circumstances, such as emigration, bereavement or a job change, but it is among the elderly that it is most visible and acute. A study has found that one in four older people felt lonely, while between 6% and 8% experienced ‘frequent, painful loneliness’. When we talk about ageing, the focus is usually on finances, but, in reality, health, emotional wellbeing and relationships are far more important. The best thing you can do for your health in old age is to stay linked to friends, family and community.
Which is why it’s a good idea to recognise loneliness as part of the human condition and learn to deal with it early on. Stay close to the people you love, and allow them to build up your self-esteem. Avoid people who bring conflict. And realise, that no matter how great a time everyone else seems to be having, they’re probably feeling lonely and insecure too.