When an eight-year-old girl (who shall remain nameless) was being sexually assaulted by a female worker at her school, it was months before her parents noticed she had become acutely withdrawn and started touching herself. When the child explained that a woman worker at school made her do it, her parents went to the school, and then the police, and discovered that the little girl and others like her had been assaulted by two women, who have since then been arrested.
Why sexual assault of children is heart-breaking, it’s not tough to understand why children end up as victims. They are trusting, can be easily overpowered physically, and then are later threatened to keep them from complaining. Most children go into shock and do not register what’s happening to them, and when they do, they don’t know how to put the trauma into words. As a parent, you have to encourage your child to talk to you and no age is too young to educate your child about sexuality. As teachers tend to detail the biology of sex, and other children will speak volumes on the subject they know little about, it’s up to you to teach your kids about sex, so that they know what’s appropriate, and that they can talk to you.
- Give your child age-appropriate information as soon as they start spending time away from you, be it at playschool or with nannies at home. It’s best to start the conversation as early as possible, so that you can avoid anything harming their wellbeing, and they know they can come to you if something happens.
- Explain the difference between a good touch and a bad touch – a touch that they don’t like – and ask them to tell you about any uncomfortable conversation or situation with friends, family, teachers etc.
- Find out what your child’s school is teaching about sexual health and wellness. Discussing sex and gender issues at school takes away the taboo and opens up the issue for discussion, in class and outside it.
- Make sure your children know that they can turn to you when they are in trouble. Remember, just because you are discussing sexuality with them, it doesn’t mean you are encouraging them to have sex. If your kids can talk about it, they are less likely be victimised by adults or their peers, and they are more likely to wait until they’re ready for sex.