When it comes to developing your child’s sexual health and wellness, you need to take an approach that integrates and harmonises the body, mind, and spirit. However, while reading articles like this one is a good idea to give you a starting point, it’s critically important that you tailor whatever you read to your child’s precise needs. No two children are the same, and your child’s wellbeing, sexual or otherwise, depends on your sensitivity to their age, personality and life experience. That way, you’re equipped for much more than “the talk”, you’re able to enter a lifelong mentoring relationship with your child.
So how do you define sexual health and development? Firstly, let’s look at how you define sexual integrity. Do you ascribe to the “boys will be boys” or “good girls don’t” mentality? Is this embedded in your family value or culture? We all have different definitions of what is appropriate and inappropriate, but seeking the root of these definitions is vital, as it has a major impact on how you treat and teach your children. Many variables have shaped your idea of sexual integrity, such as your total experience as a male or female, where you lived, what you were taught, your sexual history, and what you caught from your friends.
For Rob Jackson, a father of two young children and as a therapist specialising in sexual health, ‘The single most important question for us to ask is, “How does God define sexual integrity?” As Christians, we affirm that He created us and knows how we function best. He has fashioned us to acquire numerous age-appropriate tasks throughout life, and, likewise, He also designed our sexual development to occur sequentially in an integrated physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual manner.’
Jackson explains, ‘I believe that our strategy toward our kids’ sexual development needs to be comprehensive.’ Jackson has created a list of questions to help you process your thoughts and questions about sexuality, including choices and circumstances:
- Is it biblical?
- Is it Christ-affirming?
- Is it timeless?
- Is it equally sensitive to both males and females?
- Is it service oriented?
- Is it grounded in authentic intimacy?
- Is it purposeful?
- Is it connected to one’s faith and spirituality?
- Is it inspired by direction?
- Is it visionary for future generations?