Masturbation is a natural process which refers to sexual arousal, and generally orgasm as well, by the manual stimulation of the genitals. While it’s considered to be mainly used as a term for self stimulation, it can also be used as a term for when someone is pleasuring another with their hands, such as your partner can masturbate you to help you achieve an orgasm. This is one of the first sexual processes we learn almost instinctively, but until recently it was one of the least talked about forms of sex. In fact, there were times in history when merely the mention of masturbation was considered a sin. While it is more accepted now, masturbation still harbours connotations of loners and people with no ‘real’ sexual activity in their lives. But masturbating is a perfectly normal activity and a healthy way of expressing sexual desires. The majority of men masturbate, even when they’re in a long-term and happy relationships. While women masturbate arguably as much, it’s less commonly referred to – masturbation is a more natural instinct for men than it is for women. Naturally, not all men masturbate, but the large proportion of men begin to touch this area around the age of 14 or when they hit puberty.
Most men masturbate by using their ‘dominant’ hand, which they’ll use slowly at first then more vigorously. Unlike women, orgasm is almost always a certainty for men, so there is little anxiety about whether they will achieve the desired result. Though some people worry that they’ll masturbate too much, it’s almost impossible to actually do this – there is no risk to your health from masturbating. Visual material makes masturbating easier for some people, whether it’s through pornography in magazines or DVDs. The appearance of the internet in people’s lives has made access to pornography even easier. There are several problems associated with masturbating, which are premature ejaculation and delayed ejaculation. Premature ejaculation, or PE, occurs when a man ejaculates too quickly when he’s having sex – it’s a problem which many men have to deal with. This is a problem which revolves around a lack of control over their orgasm, which can be developed over time but specialist help is available if the problem doesn’t resolve itself. Masturbating can actually be helpful in this situation, as it enables the man to develop control and gain a better understanding of his body. Delayed ejaculation is the opposite, which is when a man can maintain an erection for a long time but can’t climax inside their partner. Many of the men with this problem are uptight about sex and simply need to relax and enjoy it. Again, masturbating can help a man to develop a better understanding of his body and learn to enjoy sex more, which will benefit his sexual relationship with his partner.
For women and teenage girls, masturbating doesn’t happen as naturally as it does for men. Naturally, many women realise they enjoy sex and masturbating during puberty, but this is usually a little later than with men. The female sex drive is slower to develop than mens and most women masturbate by stimulating the clitoris, usually with circular motions with her fingers. As with men, learning to masturbate can inspire a lot of sexual confidence in women as it allows them to learn more about their body, and what they like and don’t like. What works to enable you to orgasm and enjoy sex will vary from person to person, but exploring this and masturbating in itself is a natural process which helps you to learn about sex and your own body.