You’re a sexual person, and that doesn’t stop just because you’ve reached the age of 50 or beyond. Intimacy and connection are just important in later life as they are when you’re young, so why let your sex life dwindle? You ain’t dead yet, so how can you keep your sexual wellness after 50, and continue to enjoy a healthy sex life for years to come?
1. Stay in (sexual) shape: Amongst sexual health experts, the common phrase is “use it or lose it.” Frequent stimulation to your penis means you’ll have an easier time getting it up and maintaining your erection. As a woman, frequent stimulation to your genitals and clitoris enables you to have better self-lubrication, which is a vital part of your sexual wellbeing. Masturbation can be a great way to achieve the optimal level of stimulation, so just think of it as a natural supplementary activity to your relationship.
2. Forget the home run and enjoy all your bases: When you think about sex, your mind often goes straight for intercourse, rather than all the other sexual activities that you might enjoy. This may be because we refer to is as “foreplay,” implying that it’s the starter to the main course, or the bases you stop at if you have to, but really you’re there to get on with the meal or go for a home run. However, a good sex life involves more than just sexual intercourse; it’s about intimacy and touch, or “outer-course,” no matter what age you are. Switching the term “foreplay” for “outer-course” is a good mindset for anyone to have, but especially if you have an illness or disability that prevents you from engaging in intercourse. Put aside your old ideas of sex being focused on penetration and orgasm, and discover the sensuousness of your entire body!
3. Let’s talk about sex, baby: As you age, your body and your feelings change. This makes it more important than even to communicate with your partner, and share your thoughts, fears and desires. You might assume your partner knows what you like in the bedroom, or you might not want to mention it if something doesn’t feel as good, but this means you’ll end up with the same dreary sex life you’re not enjoying now. Your partner isn’t a mind reader and, unless you’re a same-sex couple, they don’t know as much about your sexual organs as you do. Be honest about what works for you and what doesn’t, but do it in a way that will make you feel comfortable. This often involves using humour to ease the tension, as well as being honest and open to new ideas.
4. Safety first: You may not be so concerned about protection these days, but you’re in an increasingly high-risk age group for sexually transmitted infections (STIs). The over 50s make up 11% of new AIDs cases, and a lot of doctors are reluctant to talk to older individuals about sex, which compounds the problem. Plus, the symptoms of STIs are often similar to those non-sexual disease symptoms that older people face. If you find yourself feeling tired or confused, losing your appetite and/or experiencing swollen glands, for example, you should contact your GP. Familiarise yourself with the causes and symptoms of STIs, how to prevent and treat them, and the correct way to use and store condoms. If you do contract an STI, there are sexual activities you can enjoy without putting anyone’s wellbeing at risk through the exchange of bodily fluids. Try self-pleasuring (masturbation), sharing of sexual fantasies, cuddling, kissing, reading erotica, petting, and caressing.