After giving birth, it’s natural for your vagina to change (after all, you have squeezed a human being out of there). Still, these changes can be a real dampener to your sense of sexual health, which is certainly unhelpful considering all the other things affecting your wellbeing, such as coping with the challenges of motherhood. The best way to prepare and deal with these changes is to find out what to expect and the ways you can help speed recovery.
1. Wider vagina: According to Dr Suzy Elneil, consultant in urogynaecology at University College Hospital, London, ‘The vagina can feel looser, softer and more “open,” as well as looking and feeling bruised or swollen. This is nothing to worry about, as the swelling and openness should start to reduce a few days after your baby is born. The chances are that your vagina won’t completely return to its pre-birth shape, but Dr Elneil says, ‘We always recommend pelvic floor exercises.’ Also known as kegels, pelvic floor exercises help to tone your vaginal and pelvic floor muscles, and this prevents incontinence, firms your vagina and improves sexual satisfaction.
2. Vaginal dryness: When you were pregnant, you had higher levels of oestrogen in your body but now that they’re gone your vagina feels dryer than usual. However, this vaginal dryness should improve with time. Dr Elneil explains, ‘Once you stop breastfeeding and your periods have returned, the levels of oestrogen revert to pre-pregnancy levels.’ If this dryness is causing problems in your sex life, it’s important to talk to your partner about it so you don’t have to worry alone. You may need to start using a water-based lubricant (oil-based ones can tear or rip latex condoms) to make sex more comfortable until the dryness subsides.
3. Soreness and stitches in the perineum: Dr Elneil notes, ‘The vaginal area can feel painful or sore in the immediate period after childbirth. This usually improves within 6–12 weeks after the birth. We always recommend pelvic floor exercises to help make the situation better in this case, too.’ It’s common for the perineum to feel sore after giving birth, especially if your skin tore or you needed stitches to repair a tear or episiotomy. Although over-the-counter painkillers can help, you should consult your midwife, GP or pharmacist first if you’re breastfeeding. Keeping the perineal area clean is important, which means you need to change your sanitary pads as soon as you need to, wash your hands before and after you change them and have a bath or shower every day to keep your perineum clean. If you have a lot of pain or discomfort or you notice a smell in your perineal area, talk to your health visitor or GP.
4. Pain during sex: Having sex again after you’ve had a baby is a decision that’s different for everyone, as there’s no right or wrong time to start. However, you should refrain from rushing into it, no matter how much you won’t to, as painful sex won’t be pleasurable – and where’s the fun in that? Again, lubricants may be able to help if your vagina feels dry, but if the pain during sex is caused by discomfort around your perineum, it might be worth visiting your health visitor or GP, as these medical professionals can look and check that it’s healing in the right way. Giving birth, looking after a baby and feeling tired from those experiences can make you feel less like having sex these days, which it totally normal. However, instead of avoiding sex, talk to your partner so you both know what the situation is, and you can deal with it together. If you do start having sex again, don’t neglect contraception as you may end up getting pregnant three weeks after giving birth, and surely you want a bit more of a break than that!