It’s very important for your sexual health that you find a way to talk about sex. We don’t mean dirty talk, although that can certainly have a place in the bedroom, but open sexual communication is vitally important for the wellness and wellbeing of your relationship and for your own sexual satisfaction.
Couples who have great sex all agree that the main reason that they have such a fantastic sex life is that they communicate with their partner. You may wonder what is so sexy about communication, but the truth is that being able to communicate to your partner exactly what it is that you want, need or desire can open new doors to sexual discovery and can also lead to greater intimacy between you and your partner.
In addition to this, if you are able to talk about things in the bedroom, this can also directly lead to open communication in other areas of your marriage, and can make for a healthy and functional relationship all round.
It’s not always easy to just take the plunge with talking about sex, though, especially if this is not something that you and your partner are used to. It might help to start by writing things down so that you are clear what it is about sex that you enjoy, anything from the past that could be having an effect on your current sex life, and so on.
It can also help if you familiarise yourself with your own body, so that when you make requests to your partner, you already know what you want and like and can ask them for exactly what it is that you need.
It’s also a good idea to choose the timing of your sex talk careful, and think about the location. Don’t bring up any issues in bed, as it can cause insecurity and reduce intimacy rather than improve it. Instead perhaps go for a walk or do some other (fully clothed!) activity, and slowly introduce the topic of sex so that you can have a frank discussion with your partner.