Many people think that having children is the end of your sex life. Of course, this is the case for many couples, who find that they are tired out by the extremely strenuous process of caring for children (especially when they are small) and fall out of the way of being intimate with their partner. Women also may find that after having children, they feel differently about their bodies (which will undoubtedly have changed due to the pregnancy). Hormones can play a strong role here too, and often it is many weeks or even months after a birth before women feel like having sex and are physically ‘turned on’ in the same way.
Another problem that many couples have is the physical presence of a baby in their bed. It is becoming more and more commonplace for a baby to sleep in bed with the mother, and there are mixed thoughts on whether or not this is a safe practice for infants. Sometimes this is done for the sheer enjoyment and pleasure of having a small person next to you in the bed – this is a natural feeling for mothers, who often savour having their infant by their side. Sometimes it is done in order to simply get a good night’s sleep, as babies can latch and De-latch with the breast during the night and therefore take care of their own nocturnal needs without causing too much disturbance.
It does represent a physical and practical barrier between husband and wife in the bed however and can reduce intimacy.
Having got into the routine of having baby in the bed, it can also be hard to put baby into their own bed, as they suffer from separation anxiety, or simply feel less comfortable there.
Whilst going through this time when you have a baby in your bed (or bedroom), one alternative is to use your spare room as a sort of ‘hotel room’. The change in location will make things feel sexier, and the lack of a baby being present will help to set the mood. You can always go back to your own bed for a proper sleep afterwards.