One of the least-discussed areas of sexual health, wellness and wellbeing is masturbation. Most women know that their male partner is likely to masturbate at times, especially if they are going through a period of being unwell or tired, and this is generally accepted. It can, however, become a problem, if you start to realise that your partner seems to prefer masturbation to actually having sex with you.
It is actually well known in psychoanalytic and medical circles that men often prefer masturbation to intercourse as they get older. This is generally because masturbation is about getting a simple, straightforward release, rather than being about any kind of performance. Older guys often suffer from erectile dysfunction to some extent, so masturbation allows them to get the release of orgasm without the pressure of getting and maintaining a good, solid erection, and the associated risk of perceived failure and humiliation.
Although men can try Cialis or Viagra to help defeat their erectile dysfunction, these drugs do have risks, especially in men who have any kind of underlying health condition, such as a heart problem.
It’s worth bearing in mind, however, that just because your partner seems to prefer masturbation does not mean that he no longer finds you sexually attractive. It also does not mean that your partner does not want to share sexy and intimate moments with you, and masturbation does not have to be a solo endeavour either.
If you suspect that your partner is enjoying a little (or a lot!) more solo pleasure than he has in the past, it can’t hurt to sit down with him and have a conversation about it. Be sure to be tactful and gentle – don’t risk humiliating him or driving a wedge between you. It may be a relief to him to express his sexual feelings and needs to you. If he agrees to let you take part in his solo sessions, you can join in by either pleasuring yourself or helping to pleasure him.