Life is complicated at the best of times, without making it worse when it comes to sex. Sex certainly hasn’t lost its charm and appeal, but things are more complicated now that our attitudes have changed. There are the health risks attached, a change in relationship statuses and a host of personal issues to contend with. As such, before you get personal, there are questions you should be asking to stay responsible. Here are a few things you need to know the answers to before you get into bed with someone.
Are you married?
It may seem like a given that the person climbing into bed with you is single, but don’t be so sure. Infidelity is a rampant issue in relationships, with celebrities and politicians turning cheating into a twisted art form. Most studies claim that the percentage of cheating partners is anywhere between 15 and 70 per cent. So don’t expect your sexual partners to openly state whether or not they’re taken. Once you have the answer, of course, there’s nothing to stop you if you still want to go ahead. And there can be a number of legitimate reasons, such as an impending divorce. But you still need to know that information before embarking on a sexual relationship with someone.
What’s your sexual history?
This is arguably the most vital information before embarking on sex with someone, given that sexually transmitted diseases are at their highest levels these days. You’re not just sleeping with someone, you’re sleeping with everyone they’ve ever slept with as well – in other words, if they’ve picked up infections or diseases, you’re at risk. You have a right to ask someone if they’ve been checked for STIs and had HIV checks before you have sex with them. Not asking could put you at risk of anything from mild infections to potentially life-threatening infections, so you need to know. Most partners will welcome the opportunity to ask you in return, and to have these issues aired before either one of you puts yourselves at risk.
What kind of sex do you enjoy?
This is far more than just what turns a person on – some people enjoy risky sexual activities that you might not be happy engaging in. It’s far better to find out that information before your sexual antics go any further, so that you both know what you’re letting yourselves in for. What passes as rough sex to one person may be violent to another. People differ wildly in their expectations in the bedroom, so the more information you have in the early stages of a relationship, the better equipped you are to be on the same page as them when things get heated in the bedroom. While it may seem like an awkward question to ask, asking it early could save you a lot of awkwardness later on.
Do you practice safe sex?
Recklessness may seem passionate, but it has no place in the bedroom. It puts your health at risk in a major way and could lead to complications such as unplanned pregnancies. However, it’s one of the few questions ever asked by couples. Safe sex is vitally important. It’s not enough that you’ve always practiced safe sex – you need to know that your partner has too. This means regularly and consistently using contraception, getting regular STI checks and being checked for HIV. You have every right to ask this question and not asking could put you at serious risk.