Growing up as a woman, your considerations surrounding sexual health tend to be around puberty, periods, protection against sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and pregnancy. But how often do you give a thought to menopause? Now it’s the baby boomers’ time to go through that sexual wellness change and, to be honest, we’re not really ready for it. At what point between screaming at the Beatles, wearing our hair in braids and holding up placards, getting a job, getting married, having kids, putting on weight and needing glasses, did Mother Nature turn around and say “enough’s enough”? Menopause can have a significant impact on your wellbeing, and so if you’ve never thought about it before it happened, you’ve certainly got it on the brain now!
The problem with menopause, and identifying and addressing its causes and symptoms, is that we talk about it in whispers. Also, there isn’t a lot of research into the subject, possibly because it’s a relatively new phenomenon. No, we haven’t started going through menopause because of the recession or the modern obesity crisis; until the last few generations most women died before they reached the cessation of the menses, and so researchers are only just beginning to take note that this is now something worth their attention. This is why the measurements of menopause are somewhat funny. I mean, how long before your last period does menopause begin? And what’s the difference between that and perimenopause? Is your last period the end of your menopause or is that the beginning? And how do you know if you’re menopausal or postmenopausal?
Learning all you can about menopause is a great way to get your head around the changes you’re going through, as well as finding out ways to cope. However, we need to stick together. Individually, we’re often too tired or busy or stressed to research into the subject, while most of us have mothers who never talked about it. Workplaces don’t tend to lend themselves to such discussions, and you don’t exactly want to bring it up with your friends when you’ve got so many other things to talk about. Between work, family and general life, do you really want to be the one at brunch who starts banging on about hot flashes? Then you have your family to look after, as most of us still tend to do at this age. Not only do you have a husband, kids at home or in university or moved back in, grand-babies and elderly relatives; there’s also family weddings to organise, Christmas to plan, your daughter’s gig to go to – when do you have time to notice what’s going on in your body?
But are you really that busy to notice you’re going through the Change, or is it more a case of denial? There isn’t a great reputation surrounding menopausal women. Sure, other female changes – such as puberty and pregnancy – have their irritating symptoms, but at least then you’re coming into womanhood or bringing a child into the world. These are prised symbols of fertility for which women have been valued, whereas menopause is kind of the opposite. It’s not just vanity; it’s the fear of being used up or discarded. However, instead of hiding your menopause or treating it as an illness to be conquered, take it in the spirit of adventure rather than embarrassment. Try to figure out where you are on the menopausal journey, and talk to people around you who are going through the same thing. If nothing else, it’s nice to know you’re not alone, and how much further you have to go before it’s all over.