Tantric sex is often associated with images of grand, eight-hour sex sessions spring to mind, or some erotic perversion of sex parties, but that isn’t actually the whole story. In our culture, tantric sex is shrouded in mystery, but what does it all mean and what can it do for you? The associations between sex and Tantra is actually a misinterpretation, one that reveals our preoccupation with sex in our culture. Tantra is actually an ancient practice which dates back to the 5th century in India and has been described as a celebration of existence in the universe – a way to improve not only yourself but also the world. Tantra is broadly defined as a spiritual method which focuses on heightening your experience of pleasure in the world, then sharing it with those around you. Historically, it’s been practiced via yoga, where mantras and movements are performed through rituals. Sexual rituals were only really performed by a minority of practitioners, even though that’s what has become linked to the method. Tantric sex, also known as NeoTantra, emerged as a rebellion against the organised religions, where sex was discouraged when seeking enlightenment.
However, Tantric sex teachers believe sex to be a sacred act where you have the opportunity to reach a higher spiritual state of being. It’s a way of opening your heart, making peace with your emotional self and embracing the power of your sexuality. Sexual energy is one of the most powerful energies for boosting your health, and using it consciously means you can tap into a source of youth and vitality. Those who practice tantric sex view the act as a way of truly connecting with their partner, rather than a means of self-gratification. There is no goal associated with tantric sex – the whole point is that you don’t achieve an orgasm. Rather, the goal is to focus on your feelings and the sensations you’re feeling during sex, making you really present in the moment, much as though you are meditating. Furthermore, Tantric sex is not always about intercourse. There can be other sensual experiences such as massage, prolonged eye contact, dancing and breathing exercises – anything which helps you be present with your partner and enables you to fully connect. Your sexual movements and breathing pace will be deliberately slow, and your orgasm is delayed – perhaps not even achieved.
Many people who practice tantric sex claim that both men and women are able to achieve multiple orgasms through practicing lingering and mindful sex. If your mind wanders, you need to bring your attention back to your breathing and the physical sensations of the moment, in order to be fully present. There are various positions and muscle contractions are advised to prolong your experience. And taking small ‘time outs’ to regain your composure when the arousal is becoming too much will help you control the time together and sustain the pleasure. Tantric sex teachers believe that Western society has an unhealthy relationship with sex and an unnatural attitude towards the act. In practicing sacred sexuality, people and the world as a whole can be transformed for the better. The aim of Tantric sex is the art of learning rather than succumbing to lust, and this helps you to achieve a sense of mindfulness and clarity, in addition to building a stronger relationship with your partner. Removing the pressure of ego and lust can help us reach this state a lot quicker, and that is what Tantra teaches us.