With everything from genital herpes to hepatitis threatening your sexual health today, safer sex has never been more important. However, while you can make sex safer, an important distinction to make is that you cannot completely guard your wellbeing against the dangers of sex. That said, without abstaining, there are ways you can make sex safer from infections, sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and unplanned pregnancy. Still, that doesn’t mean that safe sex has to be less fun or feel less good than you’re used to. Let’s discuss how to make sex safer and still fun.
1. Use condoms: According to wellness writer Maria Trimarchi, ‘Condoms reduce the risk of transmitting sexually transmitted diseases, but no form of contraception can offer 100% protection. They reduce transmission of HIV by 85% and genital herpes by about 30%. Studies vary on how effective (or not so effective) condoms are at protecting you from syphilis, gonorrhea and chlamydia, but those studies do show that condoms offer some level of protection.’ So get out there and choose a condom that works for you! There are flavoured, coloured, ribbed and lubricated varieties, and you can even cut open condoms and use them as dental dams for safe oral sex with women.
2. Use a Lubricant: Trimarchi notes, ‘Wetter is better, especially when it comes to sex. Vaginal lubrication is key to sexual pleasure for both men and women, and sometimes there just isn’t enough. If sex is too dry, it can cause irritation and pain. Enter lube. Lubricant comes in a few forms: water-based, silicone-based and oil-based. Water- and silicone-based lubes are the best with condoms. Never use an oil-based lubricant with a condom – the oil will interact with the latex and cause it to break down. You can purchase lubricants in a variety of flavours, from spicy to sweet; there are options for the chocoholics out there, too. Some cause warming sensations, some make you tingle, and if you’re looking for an icy blast, pick up a cooling lube.’
3. Build the Anticipation: The things that lead up to sex can be just as exciting as intercourse, oral or anal sex. Trimarchi advises, ‘Use your seduction skills by leaving a sexy voicemail or text message for your partner, detailing what you have in store for him or her after work, or what you’d like to have done to you. Also, take the time to set the mood – both the mood of the room and your partner’s mood. Light candles or unwind with a massage. Take the time to enjoy your partner’s body by exploring and teasing – put an emphasis on foreplay.’
4. Try New Positions: Trimarchi asserts, ‘There’s nothing wrong with a favourite, go-to position that makes your toes curl, but there’s also nothing wrong with breaking out of your habit and spicing things up with a new position. Maybe not all of the 64 sexual activities described in the Kama Sutra are your taste, but something as simple as switching who gets to be on top (or side or behind) can increase pleasure and sensation. The angle of penetration that a new position may offer might just add to your enjoyment, and trying something new with your partner may increase your intimacy with each other.’
5. Get Out of the Bedroom: ‘Add a little bit of naughtiness to your sex life by trying out new locations for your sexual exploits,’ Trimarchi recommends. ‘In 2004, an ABC News “Primetime Live” poll found that 57% of Americans have had sex in a public place or outside, and 12% have had sex where they work…Whether it’s in the shower, on the couch or in a secluded but still public spot – make sure it’s secluded or risk an indecent exposure charge – sex can be more fun when you feel like you’re misbehaving.’