As a man, your sexual health and wellness isn’t just about you getting yours; you also need to please your woman. Hitting her pleasure points boosts your sexual wellbeing as well as your partner’s, leading to better, all-over mind-blowing sex. Here are our tips and tricks to pleasing your woman – just make sure you don’t use them all up in one night!
1. The Pre-Coital Massage: Massage the length of your partner’s legs, starting at her upper thighs and working down to her ankles. Once you get down low, focus on your partner’s feet, kneading her heels and the soles. Stretch out each toe individually and, if hygiene allows, have a little suck – you’ll have her ready for the main event in no time.
2. Ask Her About it: You’re not a mind reader, so just ask your partner what she wants from you. According to Barbara Bartlik, MD, a professor of psychiatry at CornellUniversity, ‘Most women appreciate men who want to make sure they’re satisfied. If she notices you’re working hard to please her, she’ll be more likely to return the favour.’
3. Love Foreplay: It’s not about how often you give her foreplay; it’s about the quality. Michael Perry, PhD, a sex therapist in Encino, California, warns, ‘If you act as if you’re just going through the motions to get to the sex, she’s going to notice, and it will take longer for her to get excited. When a man is loving what he’s doing, it’s going to show through and turn her on, too.’
4. Go Gently on the G-Spot: While her clitoris is an obvious place that needs attention, you need to give it your focus in the right way. Cathy Winks, author of The Good Vibrations Guide to the G-spot, explains, ‘Direct stimulation of the clitoris can actually be painful. It’s much better to rub the clitoral hood [where the tops of the labia meet] or to rub along the side of the clitoris than it is to go straight for the head of it.’ Birch adds, ‘Focus on the clitoris, then don’t focus on the clitoris. The clitoris reacts best to being teased, so you want to lick it and suck on it a little, build a little tension, then back off on it a bit before going at it again.’
5. Kissing Keeps Her Going: When you get close, really close, to the end point, you can forget how you got here in the first place. Britton notes, ‘Women get their greatest erotic pleasure from frequent, passionate kissing. If you get the sense that she’s starting to lose interest, kissing is always the best way to bring her back into it.’ You don’t always need to frantically swab out her tonsils to show your passion; try to mix things up with an occasional closed-mouth kiss on her nose, eyes, and forehead.
6. The ‘Figure Eight’ Technique: When you’re giving full oral attention to her downstairs area, the super-sensitive area around her clitoris responds well to a figure-eight pattern. Start by gently sucking until the little button swells, and then carefully expose the area with your fingers. Circle the clitoris to the left with the slippery underside of your tongue, and then circle it to the right. Following on from this, use the rougher top side of your tongue to flick from right to left and then up and down. Finish by doing figure eights, alternating between your tongue’s smooth underside and firmer tip, and constantly varying the degrees of pressure you use.