If you’re in a long-term relationship, you may have found your sex life bearing the brunt of your familiarity and comfort levels. It can be difficult sometimes to make sex exciting and passionate when you spend all of your time with someone, but the effort is well rewarded when you do! There are loads of ways to make sex more passionate, and one of the easiest ways to get back in the mood is to talk about when you first met and the things which made you fall in love in the first place – these feelings of nostalgia almost always bring the passion back to your relationship immediately. Once you’re there, what can you do to make things more interesting? Here are some tips on how to combat those excuses for why the passion has gone, and how to make sex feel more exciting again.
There’s too much else going on
In between, work, the kids and your social life, sex is invariably the last thing on your mind. But while it may sound counterintuitive, eyeing up a handsome stranger could be just the thing to spike your libido. Checking out other people puts sex back in your mind, getting you thinking about the next time you’ll have the chance to get steamy in the bedroom with your partner. So don’t be afraid of eyeing up that cute barista at your local coffee place or flirting with the guy on the bus – it could be the best thing that’s ever happened to your sex life. Just remember that the rule is to look, not touch!
You’re never in the mood
There’s always an excuse, such as a headache, a deadline at work or looking after the kids all afternoon that’s made you tired. It’s no surprise that with so much going on, we’re not really interested in having sex. But sometimes the best thing to clear your mind and help you relax could be just that. Sex is renowned for being a great stress buster, it can perk you up, and it can help you to feel more connected to your partner as well which is great for increasing intimacy. No-one ever feels bad having sex once they’ve done it, so next time you feel the excuses piling up, just ignore them and do it anyway – you won’t regret it!
You’re in roommate mode
When you’re spending all your time doing chores around the house, dealing with the finances and taking care of the kids, you wind up feeling more like housemates than lovers. That’s to be expected, but there are ways you can overcome this and get back to being the passionate couple you once were. Making out with your partner can help you feel like love-filled teenagers again, and can remind you that you’re in a relationship rather than a friendship. Often, the amount of time people spend kissing when they’re in a relationship decreases over time as they settle into a long term relationship. So make the effort to keep up the make-out sessions and enjoy the feeling of romance entering your relationship again. Regular date nights are a great way to do this, as it strengthens your relationship and the passion, and also forces you to make the effort to set time aside for each other each week – something that can be easier said than done when you’re in a long-term relationship.