When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, foreplay plays less and less of a role in your sexual wellbeing. It’s easy to fall into a routine, but if you want to reignite your sex life with some fantastic foreplay, we’ve got a few games that can get things going again.
1. Time Bomb: For this game you’ll need a clock or an egg timer. Choose a time interval – say 10 or 20 minutes – and do not allow penetration to occur. Sexual health and wellness writer MarissaSpring explains, ‘Most busy couples have foreplay down to a science—and a bare minimum as well. “Time Bomb” refocuses you on the pre-game show, the part that used to be so much fun before you lived together. You’ll be surprised by how much slowing down changes things. You get really creative. You get really hot.’
2. Blind Man in the Buff: Blindfold your partner, lead him to the bed and then proceed to ravish him. His arousal can be your guide, but you call the shots. ‘Not being able to see during sex has two major effects,’ Spring notes. ‘It dramatically increases both sensitivity and psychological vulnerability. Either one is a powerful aphrodisiac. Together they can create a love explosion.’
3. The Prisoner: For this game, you’ll need four men’s neckties and a bed, preferably with bedposts. Spring details, ‘He ties your wrists and ankles to the bedposts and has his way with you. I have to admit, this is my favourite sex game—and I never even tried it until I was in my late 30s. I find it incredibly erotic to be completely powerless, to be the absolute centre of his attention and to have no responsibility for or power over what happens. I find it erotic just to think about. If you’ve never tried it, please do.’
4. Bad Girl: Spring instructs, ‘Tell your husband all the things you did wrong today. (You failed to take your coupons to the grocery store. You forgot the name of your new receptionist at work. You told your adolescent son to go to hell.) Then kneel on the bed. Your husband spanks you, using his hand or a hairbrush or a not-too-scary disciplinary accessory. Spanking feels good, actually. A smart smack on the butt creates a tingly, alert sensation that combines well with the other feelings of sex. This is another thing I tried quite late in life and have been surprised to find is fun. I like it even without any role-playing or confessions—really. The sensations are especially interesting if he combines them with playing with the various woman parts that will perforce be on display during your spanking. This is an excellent time to try inserting a vibrator.’
5. Beach Blanket Bingo: For this game, grab a big towel or blanket and a bottle of massage oil or cream. Spring outlines, ‘Spread your towel on the bed or carpet and grease each other up with massage oil—legs, torso, breasts, everywhere. Now roll around for awhile and see what happens. You will really be surprised at the difference a little lubricant makes in the feeling of skin on skin. Sure, it’s a little messy. But worth it. If you have a favorite secluded spot, this is fun to do outdoors, even on your own patio.’ She adds, ‘Don’t put mint or eucalyptus oil on sensitive genital areas. But if you have a non-irritating lubricant, greasing up the sexual equipment can be part of the fun. Oil-based lubricants, including massage oil, can degrade latex. So don’t play this game if you’re using condoms or a diaphragm.’