Sexual infidelity is one of the hardest things to come to terms with. It can impact on your emotional wellness and wellbeing in all kinds of ways, and yet it is sadly all too common. To compound this, it’s just impossible to tell, before getting into a relationship, if a man is likely to cheat.
A new book, Why Men Really Cheat, by psychologist Martyn Stewart, looks to answer that big question with a mixture of analysis, case studies and theory. During the course of the book, we are introduced to different male types, the Swinger (no, not that type of swinger), the Enigma and the Opportunist, and we are guided through a series of case studies. We are also shown some pretty serious maths in the form of equations and algorithms to help us work out which personality types are more likely to be cheaters, and why that might be the case.
The conclusions to the very big question of why people chat are varied, ranging from a fear of missing out on an opportunity, having a compulsive sex drive, requiring immediate gratification and seeking some kind of recognition.
In addition to all this, modern technology is making cheating easier than ever. Society is built on ease and instancy, and this is helping to serve people with selfish needs.
The book also details the types of men to avoid, including the Lad’s Lad (a blokish man who is easily swayed by his friends, gets drunk easily and therefore cheats easily), the Manipulator (a cunning and secretive type of man), the Stupid Mistake man, who acts first and then thinks about the consequences later, the Disdainer – a misogynistic type who lacks empathy or patience and is not supportive of women as a gender. Then there’s the Opportunist, a carefree, hedonistic type who will not go out of his way to have an affair but will certainly grab one that arises.