As you reach your 50s and beyond, you may notice a few changes to your physical wellbeing. Sure there are a few creaky joints and wrinkles that weren’t there before, but that doesn’t mean your physical needs have changed – not to mention your emotional needs. The need for intimacy is ageless, and sexual health has actually been linked to good wellness overall and a longer lifespan!
According to Arthur Hayward, MD, a geriatrician and the clinical lead physician for elder care with Kaiser Permanente’s Care Management Institute, Many women are surprised by the impact menopause has on their sex life. Some women enjoy sex more after menopause while others feel a drop in interest. Men may feel a decline in their sex drive and may want to learn about treatment for erectile dysfunction. Whatever the situation, be honest and open with your doctor about your concerns, so you can get the help you need to improve your sexual health.’ So how can you continue to enjoy a physically and emotionally fulfilling sex life as you age?
1. Communicate: This is a top tip regardless of age, but communication is key when changes occur to your body. As people age, you lose oestrogen while your partner loses testosterone. These hormonal changes may lead to changes in libido, but your partner won’t know what’s going on in your body until you tell him. Not only can openly discussing your concerns and what you’re experiencing emotionally and physically help you both to find a solution; the sheer act of open, vulnerable communication can bring you closer and help you both enjoy sex and intimacy all the more.
2. Spend Time Together: Sex and sexuality communicate a great deal: affection, love, esteem, warmth, sharing and bonding. These gifts are as much the right of older adults as they are of those who are younger, so why not take a leaf out of young peoples’ book? Go out on a date to the movies or to dinner, or just suggest you go for a walk. Quality time helps you to focus on intimacy and physical touch, so hark back to your younger selves and hold hands, hug and show affection.
3. Experiment: If you find that you’re too tired to have sex at night anymore, try trying it on with your partner in the morning or the afternoon when you have more energy. A low libido can make you want to get things over with quickly, but taking your time and spending longer on foreplay can increase vaginal lubrication and boost your level of desire. If uncomfortable sex is putting you off, try using a lubricant. There are loads of sexual factors to play with, such as mood, lighting and sensual exercises – so try something new to get in the mood.
4. Practice Safe Sex: Research shows that rates of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) such as chlamydia, gonorrhoea and syphilis have doubled for people in their 50s, 60s and 70s in the past decade, due to the lack of fear of pregnancy. However, condoms are vital for protecting you against STDs, so it’s important to practice safe sex with every new partner.
5. Know When to Seek Help: If you suffer from physical limitations or the effects of certain illnesses or medications, you may need to make a few accommodations. Talk with your doctor about any changes that concern you, and he or she can help you make the necessary changes. Some health niggles can be the first sign of a medical problem, so it’s always worth bringing them up.