Sex may be something which is natural to you, but when you’re having sex with a new partner it can be difficult to know what to do and how to act – are they hoping you’ll be really confident in bed or would acting in such a way between the sheets scare them off? Sometimes it helps to know how to strike a balance and please your partner, even when you’re still getting to know their likes and dislikes in the bedroom. If you’re embarking on a new romance, these tips will help you to make a great first impression.
Firstly, oral sex is almost always a great way to start sex – men and women love it and it shows you’re interested in giving as well as receiving, so this is a fantastic start to what one hopes will be a fun and passionate evening. You should also be active – that doesn’t mean leaping all over the bed like a child, but also don’t lie there waiting for him to make all the moves. Men love a woman who makes an effort, so play your part in the same way you hope he will – it will be more fun for both of you. You also shouldn’t spend the whole time worrying about your body. Hiding under the covers is both unnecessary and unsexy, so don’t insist that the lights go out the moment anything begins to happen. Be confident and remember that you’re having sex with him! If he didn’t find you attractive, neither one of you would be in this situation, so stop worrying and just enjoy yourself. By the same token, don’t stress about his performance – first-time sex can be intense and erotic, but it can also be charged with high expectations that don’t always get met. Don’t assume that you’re both rubbish in bed together just because it didn’t match what you imagined; nerves are often to blame.
Two things are possibly to blame if your man isn’t performing in the right way – a lack of erection or premature ejaculation. Don’t make a big deal of either one if they occur, as your man is already likely to be embarrassed and stressed out about the situation. Make light of it and let him know that it’s normal and that you’re not worried by it. Setting the tone for honest and communicative sex is important for developing a close bond and a great sex life for the future. If you don’t, you’ll make him even more apprehensive the next time you have sex together. Furthermore, let him know that you’re enjoying having sex with him.
Don’t patronise him by pretending that you like everything he does in bed though, unless of course that you do! If he’s doing something particularly well, let him know, but don’t overdo it and make it clear you’re lying – he’ll see right through it and it will cause tension between you. Lastly, save the post-sex emotional fallout for a catch up session with your friends – if he doesn’t want to know you once you’ve done the deed, then trying to ascertain if you’re an item will only be more humiliating. If he really likes you, he’ll be in contact and you’ll arrange meeting up. The important thing is to be relaxed about the whole thing – keep it casual and try not to dwell on the finer details. Have fun with it and you’ll both have a better time.