While women may have questions about giving a blow job, men have a number of queries about receiving one; does your partner like doing it? What’s the best position for optimal oral sex? We put your giving-head head-scratchers to the sexual health and wellness experts.
1. Do Women Actually Enjoy Giving Head? According to sexpert Stacey Grenrock Woods, ‘While it’s true that women will do almost anything in pursuit of a good time, performing oral sex is not the act of martyrdom some would have you believe. You see, most women have an innate attraction to the penis, or at least think it’s “neat.” Hence, the creation of sex toys folks. A 1993 survey concluded that 55% of women found oral sex “very normal,” 32% found it “all right,” 9% found it “kinky,” 4% found it “unusual,” and 1% didn’t realise there was any other kind.’ Sexuality educator Logan Levkoff points out that ‘there are some women who love to give oral sex,’ and actually want nothing in return. Nonetheless, a little reciprocity is always appreciated.
2. Who Invented the Blow Job? ‘The blow job came about in a rather amusing way,’ notes Grenrock Woods. ‘An 18th-century nobleman, the Earl of Sandwich, once requested that his meat course be placed between two pieces of bread so he could eat while playing cards. As this was happening, his friend the Marquis de Boules stayed behind in the kitchen and got a blow job. Isn’t that a ribald tale from the annals of history? However, it is not universally accepted by historians as being true in the truest sense of the truth. Educated people say there is evidence of oral sex in art that predates the time of Cleopatra.’
3. Is There an Optimal Position for Giving a Blow Job? Dr. Jack Summers, director of research for San Francisco’s Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, comments, ‘It’s just like sucking a Popsicle. It shouldn’t be any more ergonomically challenging.’ However, Ted McIlvenna, president of the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, points out that ‘when you lean over too much, the jaw can be inconvenienced.’ He adds that the slower it takes for the man to orgasm, the more likely it is for the woman to experience some kind of repetitive-motion injury.
4. Do Women Dislike it When You Hold their Head? If So, Where Should the Man Put His Hands? ‘It’s all in the attitude,’ says Grenrock Woods. ‘We understand it’s natural for your hands to land on whatever’s in the vicinity (head, shoulders, livestock, soft-serve ice-cream machine, senator, whatever), and some good-natured hair-stroking shouldn’t be a problem. However, you must be very, very gentle…You’ll also want to avoid using your hands in a forceful, demeaning sort of way. Very few women are into that…. The fact is, you needn’t feel pressure to do anything noteworthy with your hands. Idle hands are no longer the devil’s playthings…But if you’re just one of those fidgety types, this may be a good time to brush up on your sleight of hand. Imagine her delight when it’s all done and you pull a quarter out of her ear!’ However, Sunset Thomas of Nevada’s own Kit Kat Guest Ranch (brothel) says, ‘I don’t mind a guy grabbing a handful of hair while I lip-lock his lumber. Or, if you’ve got the dexterity, dink a digit in our damp spot.’ If in doubt, ask you partner what she wants you to do with your hands. In all things sex-related, communication is the key to making everyone happy.