You might have an inkling of what goes on at a tantric sex workshop – and may worry about your wellness if you were to set foot in such a place. However, sexual health writer Merissa Nathan Gerson found that such a workshop helped not only her sexual wellness, but her overall wellbeing.
‘I arrive early to the “Embody Tantra/Tantric Taster,” a workshop held every few months in Santa Monica at the Sacred Energy Arts studio in a room filled with the distinct scent of sage and incense,’ Gerson details. ‘The lights are low and the pillows are neatly arranged in arching rows as if for meditation. A man, all smiles and warmth, welcomes me as he ushers a growing crowd of 40 to 50 people into a small room. Everything that might seem otherwise innocuous suddenly feels sexual: the straps, the blankets, the smoky room. I imagine we will sit cross-legged, topless, and intertwine our legs…But it isn’t like that…Why are we all here on a Saturday night, I wonder? For fun? For desperate measures? To deepen a spiritual path? Or, perhaps, for what the workshop promises: the key to a full body orgasm.’
Gerson recalls, ‘Charu, a nice Jewish girl from Connecticut turned Tantric master, descends upon the room like a fairy in bell-bottomed lace pants. She has long curly hair, arms like Tina Turner, and a smiley glow that puts everyone at ease. “Your sex life,” she tells us, “will change through this work.” She begins the session cross-legged on a red fur chair with that guru-mother goddess vibe. She tells us about the ancient roots of Tantric practice and about the need for sexual liberation. “A lot of what has been taught in the West is that this human body is problematic,” she explains. As she talks I feel as if I should hug myself or make love to the sounds of Enya. “Tantra is different because rather than seeing the body as bad or wrong or a hindrance to the experience of the divine, we see the body as a gateway to experiencing the present moment more deeply. It’s all about sex and it’s nothing about sex at the same time.”’
So what did the workshop involve? ‘We meditate first in total silence,’ says Gerson. ‘She asks us to pay attention to what she terms “the caress of the breath as it enters the body.” We focus on breathing, on feeling the changes in temperature and moisture of the air entering and exiting our mouths and nostrils. “Lick your bottom lip if you have trouble noticing,” Charu suggests. “It makes it so you can feel the cool air in, and the warm air moving out.” We allow our tongues to relax and imagine our eyes moving through our bodies. I begin to feel it, that Tantric wave. I feel the urge to make love to everyone in the room, to come alive, to touch bodies in order to liberate one another. “If you are lucky enough to be sitting next to someone and to catch his or her eye,” she says, “just notice the sensation.” Suddenly “sex,” the TV version, seems vile. This is something else altogether.’
Gerson adds, ‘It isn’t seedy. It isn’t creepy. I don’t feel afraid of having to do anything against my will, of the older men in the room trying to cop a feel. No one is an object…After a movement meditation where we dance and wiggle in place and a sound release meditation where we bellow collectively, I am lucky to find a very good partner for paired meditation. I wonder, in retrospect, if everyone would have been a good partner. But I like him immediately. I like the depth of his breathing and the way he engages with my energy as I walk in front of him…On the way to the parking lot I realise that if I keep attending the workshop, my barriers could melt away; I might learn to honour my deepest desires, to seek and receive a crazy amount of pleasure. I crave more. I want to go back for more. Clearly, something inside of me is waiting to come out, to make love to people as if the world depended on it.’