Abuse is most commonly perpetrated towards young women and girls in these relationships, but it is not unheard of for young men or boys to fall victim. It can also happen in same sex relationships. Abuse can affect your child’s physical, mental or sexual health. At its worst, it can affect long-term wellness, with issues such as mental health problems such as depression, substance or alcohol abuse and eating disorders. In the case of sexual abuse, the victim is also at risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
Physical abuse involves any type of physical violence such as hitting, slapping, pushing or kicking and can extend to forcing someone to engage in unwanted sexual activity. Emotional abuse is less easily spotted but can be characterised as saying unkind or hurtful things on a regular, ongoing basis, exerting emotional pressure on their partner to engage in unwanted sexual activity, controlling behaviour, or threatening language or behaviour.
If you suspect that your teenager is involved in such a damaging relationship, you can start by talking to them about what is and is not acceptable within a loving relationship. Make the boundaries of respect completely clear and emphasise to them that they never have to put up with behaviour that does not make them happy. Keep an eye out for any warning signs in your child’s partner, such as extreme jealousy or controlling behaviour, incessant contact or having difficulty controlling their feelings.
Look out for signs in your child too, such as them becoming withdrawn, doing less well in school, having unexplained marks or bruises or showing big changes in their personality. Above all, make sure that your child knows that you are always available to talk to them, should they need to, and that you will not be judgemental.