Firstly, when you get the urge to mentally replay what went wrong over and over in your mind, Henry Emmons, MD, author of The Chemistry of Calm, says shift your focus to your body instead. Sit down in a quiet place and concentrate on feeling the seat beneath you, taking long, deep breaths from your diaphragm. If you inhale through your nose for a count of four, hold for two, and exhale through your mouth for seven, you can deepen your breathing, which helps calm your nervous system. ‘You can even practice your breathing when you’re not stressed, so you know exactly what deep-breathing counts soothe you,’ says Dr Emmons.
When you do this, don’t sit at your desk but, if you can, get outside. Staying in the office can keep your mind in ‘overwhelmed’ mode, but getting outside and breathing the fresh air can be exactly what you need. Let the moment you take outside clear your head of any thoughts about work or what’s bothering you, and you can tackle it again once you go back inside. If there are flowers about, even better! Studies have shown that inhaling scents, such as lavender, reset a stressed immune system to normal levels.
Yet eliminating stress doesn’t have to be something you do alone. When you spend time with your friends, it helps your body to pump out oxytocin – the feel-good hormone – so when you are having a crazily busy day, call a friend to have a chat during your lunch break or arrange to meet up in the evening. Regularly hanging out will give your wellbeing a continuous boost, but as Dr Emmons says, don’t turn your talks into bitch-fests as ranting will get you worked up again.
Finally, take care of your nights as well as your days. Often you can settle in for a good night’s sleep, and all your worries come rushing back and make it impossible. In turn, sleeplessness makes you more anxious, and thus begins a vicious cycle of stress. Instead, Sue Patton Thoele, author of The Mindful Woman, recommends grabbing a pen and paper (you might like to keep them near your bed) and jotting down your negative thoughts or to-dos. Though it seems counterintuitive, by getting your thoughts on paper, you can get them out of your head and put them aside to deal with later.