Should Women Complain if Men Notice their Beauty?

For Celia Walden, a British journalist, novelist and critic (who, if you’re interested, is also married to Piers Morgan), men can’t be expected to turn a blind eye to beauty. Walden details a recent incident on the subway where she saw a girl in a very short skirt call an older man “disgusting” for staring at her legs. According to Walden, ‘I felt for him. The girl had very nice legs. The girl knew she had very nice legs, and had chosen to showcase them in a belt of fabric that would draw admiring glances from every male member of that carriage, and a few females besides.’

‘We can dye our skins, suck the fat from our bottoms and thighs, stretch our faces, plump up our lips, enhance our breasts. We can subject our bodies to intensive fitness regimes, embark on scientifically tested diets and then flaunt parts of ourselves that have for centuries remained hidden in a provocative array of new fabrics and styles,’ Walden says. ‘But should any man (or woman) notice or — God forbid — point out the results of our efforts, we immediately rise up in revolt.’

Walden notes the case of Laura Fernee, a 33-year-old science graduate from Notting Hill who recently decried her own beauty in London’s newspapers as the reason she was unable to hold down a job. At the time, Fernee mourned, ‘The truth is my good looks have caused massive problems for me when it comes to employment,’ adding that female colleagues were jealous and male colleagues ‘were only interested in me for how I looked. I wanted them to recognize my achievements and my professionalism, but all they saw was my face and body.’

Walden comments, ‘I feel for modern men, just as I felt for the man on the subway that day. They’re supposed to remain blind to the legions of women strutting through life and the workplace in thigh-highs and low-cut tops. And, of course, it’s our prerogative to do that. But in this digital age, the days of un-self-aware beauties (the most arresting kind of all) are sadly behind us. If you’re lucky enough to have that extra asset (which is all beauty is), use it cautiously — not as a weapon with which to beat the opposite sex. Better still, ignore it. If Fernee is so disabled by her looks, she’ll be relieved to discover that nothing makes a woman ugly quite so fast as talking about her own beauty.’

 

beautymenTalking to women