What happens to your relationship if you constantly live under the terror of your partner walking out on you? While your anxiety might be unfounded, your fears will take the relationship spiralling downwards. In a recent study in the ‘Journal of Social and Personal Relationships’, Florida State University graduate student Ashley Cooper decided to find out what high levels of fluctuation in the feeling of security in a person’s relationship may actually do.
“I was interested in how attachment security impacted partners’ experiences in their relationship on a daily basis,” says Cooper. “Some couples experience instability from one day to the next in their relationship, so we sought out to explore what could increase or decrease this volatility.”
Cooper and her colleagues found that those who experience high levels of anxiety about their partner’s commitment are likely to experience more volatility in their feelings about the relationship. Furthermore, when women experienced this anxiety, their male partners experienced similar volatility in their feelings about the relationship. The researchers also looked at the couples in which one or both partners experienced behaviours associated with the distrust of relying on other people and attachment anxiety. They found that when one person had high attachment avoidance, both had low levels of relationship satisfaction. The high attachment anxiety increased volatility in the quality of the relationship. Say the researchers, stay attuned to what your partner is saying and avoid making assumptions that can escalate conflict. Trusting in your partner and your relationship is important to daily interactions and stability for your relationship.