There’s a somewhat selfish reason why family wellness is so important; married people live longer and are healthier than singles. Research shows that being married is good for your wellbeing, especially if you’re a man, as this makes you less likely to die early or die from heart disease or stroke. But do you get the same wellness benefits if you are your partner are yet to tie the knot? And what about you happy singletons? We asked the experts to weigh in on how long-term love, or lack thereof, affects your health.
1. You behave more safely: According to Christopher Fagundes, PhD, psychologist and researcher at The Ohio State University, when you get married you are less likely to take major health risks or abuse substances than if you’re single or just move in together.
2. You are more socially connected: Janice Kiecolt-Glaser, PhD, S. Robert Davis Chair of Medicine at The Ohio State University, notes, ‘If you’re married, ideally that’s your closest relationship. That means there’s a partner and close source of support readily available.’ Psychiatrist Sudeepta Varma, MD, of NYU Langone Medical Centre, adds that people who are alone and unhappy, on the other hand, may become socially isolated, which can often cause depression and the neglecting of your health.
3. You have healthier habits: ‘Your spouse is a large force of influence in your own behaviour,’ says UCLA psychologist Theodore Robles, PhD. ‘You have someone to remind you that you shouldn’t eat that; that you should have one less drink. That means your spouse can help you maintain healthy habits.’ Research also shows that you’re more likely to follow your doctor’s advice if you are in a happy, martial relationship.
But what about living with your significant other? Fagundes details, ‘The general consensus is that, yes, cohabiting has positive effects but not to the same degree as marriage.’ If you’re in a same-sex couple, you might want to take this research with a pinch of salt, as most of the studies in this area has focused on heterosexual couples. However, none of our experts could see why the benefits of having a partner shouldn’t extend to homosexual partnerships. Varma comments, ‘The love and support – and how this translates into us taking better care of ourselves when we have someone who is invested in our happiness – is immeasurable.’
Really, it doesn’t come down to ticking the boxes of a) man b) woman and c) rings; you have to have a good marriage to reap the benefits in your wellbeing. A study of heart bypass patients, for example, showed that being happily married enabled better survival over 15 years, but the reverse is also true; being in an unhappy marriage can be unhealthy. The chronic stress of dealing with a bad marriage on a daily basis can affect your immune system, particularly if you’re a woman. Kiecolt-Glaser, whose team videotaped couples disagreeing, explains, ‘Couples who were more hostile during disagreements showed steeper changes in stress hormones and healed wounds less quickly.’
While women have been found to been the more impacted by bad marriages, that’s not to say that blokes are off the hook – they’re just affected in a different way. Varma asserts, ‘We now know that depression, obesity, and hypertension can all result from women suffering in unhappy marriages, but I also see a lot of substance abuse and depression in my male patients in the same situation.’ And, of course, people can thrive on their own. ‘If someone is single, it may or may not point to a difficulty in establishing close relationships,’ Varma says. ‘For some, this is the case. For others, it’s simply that they have not found their life partner yet. The key would be to surround yourself with good people that care for you, and that you are willing to help.’