When a baby cries all night long for no apparent reason parents can soon become desperate to find a way to get a good night’s sleep. One of the more controversial methods for dealing with sleepless nights is controlled crying. This approach (which is only ever suggested for babies over six months) is based on the premise that older babies often cry simply because they have fallen into a pattern of crying to get a cuddle. To break this habit, controlled crying involves leaving the baby to cry for increasing periods so that they break the connection between crying and instant attention. But is this approach harmful?
No – The Nanny
Older babies will often cry not because they need feeding or are in pain but just because they have got used to their mother magically appearing whenever they cry. When they persistently cry throughout the night this can cause all sorts of physical and emotional problems for parents.
When conducted properly, controlled crying isn’t unkind but instead teaches babies how to sleep properly. This not only ensures that baby gets a restorative night’s sleep but also encourages them to develop healthy sleep patterns for later life.
If you are confident that your baby isn’t crying from hunger or distress, then controlled crying can be a useful way to encourage them to sleep. By gradually building up the length of time that you leave your baby, they will quickly learn that crying won’t instantly make you appear at their side.
Controlled crying isn’t just for the benefit of parents; some mothers have reported that after implementing the method, their baby is more alert and feeds better during the day,following a good night’s sleep.
It may seem drastic for some parents but if you don’t tackle sleep problems before your baby becomes a toddler then you could be setting yourself up for years of sleepless nights.
Yes – The Mother
My baby wakes several times through the night and so I’ve spent a long time researching ways to address night-time crying. My friend suggested using the controlled crying method but after finding out more about it, I’ve decided that it’s definitely not something I would try.
Experts have shown that controlled crying can harm babies’ emotional wellbeing. When you ignore their cries, they quickly learn that they cannot trust their mother to be there when they need them. Several studies have shown that when left to cry, stress hormones flood through the baby’s brain. This can cause problems in the baby’s development and could even lead to anger and anxiety later in life.
I believe that a mother’s instinct is usually right and so if my instinct tells me to comfort my crying baby then that’s what I’m going to do. In my mind, a baby doesn’t cry for ‘no reason’. Okay, they may not need feeding or changing but wanting a reassuring cuddle is just as important. I agree that sleepless nights are hard but I’d rather help my baby to settle by cuddling or singing to him than by leaving him to cry on his own.
If you’re struggling to cope with a crying baby, call the Cry-sis helpline on 08451 228669, or visit: www.cry-sis.org.uk