It’s common to get irritated by people who do things in a certain way, or to be put out when you give up a lot of time/energy/resources for someone and don’t get so much as a thank you in return. However, even though these are natural emotions to experience, are they necessary? Could your emotional wellness benefit from letting go?
This is the ethos of the book Practical Spirituality for Enriched Living by His Holiness Shri Shri Nimishananda Guruji, which calls for a more nuanced reaction to irritating people. According to the book, ‘They will have their own reasons for doing things that way. Don’t expect anything from them. Whether they offer you something or not, be happy. When we drop rigid expectations and let go of unnecessary emotions, our mind expands and accepts others as they are. Our life becomes very simple and joyous.’
Sounds lovely in theory, but what about in practice? Practical Spirituality’s aims require a constant awareness of your own inner state, in which you are aware of the feelings that you have, the vibrations that you generate, the thoughts that arise in your mind, the words you speak and the actions that you perform, every moment. That may sound impossible but, as with anything you need to learn, it’s a personal discipline that needs practice.
According to Practical Spirituality, ‘These days extended families are rare because we are unable to adjust to other people’s needs, thoughts, feelings and attitudes. Expand your mind and heart. Don’t judge others. At times people may come to us and say — “I have performed so much charity. But my life is filled with troubles.” Why does this happen? In such cases one must examine the intention behind the charitable actions. Were they motivated by love and generosity?’
The book explains that feeling like a benefactor only serves to fuel your own ego, whereas you should think off the opportunity to do good deeds as a blessing. You need to be grateful to the person who has given you this opportunity to serve him, rather than regarding it as a nuisance, hindrance or compulsion. Practical Spirituality notes, ‘God does not distinguish between a one rupee note and a one thousand rupee note. He only looks at the feeling in your heart.’