We all know that being a parent can be difficult sometimes, but so can growing up – when angry words are exchanges, we often say things we don’t really mean. Here are some phrases which are best avoided in order to maintain a healthy relationship with your kids.
I was much more responsible when I was your age
Stating your expectations to your child is the first way to anger them and make them feel as though they’re falling short of your standards. If you’re comparing them to you, it’s as though you’re saying they aren’t acting the way you hoped, which can be difficult for them to hear.
You always end up taking wrong decisions
Everyone makes mistakes, yourself included, so don’t penalise your child for being immature – they are still learning, after all! Your job is to guide them and offer support, not to lead them into the same route you took growing up.
Why can’t you be more like your brother/sister?
As previously shown, comparison statements can lead to serious confidence issues, which you want to avoid wherever possible. Statements like this also cause animosity between your children, which damages their relationship as well as the one you have with your children.
Leave me alone!
While adults obviously have a lot of responsibilities to take care of, children are generally oblivious to these. An aggressive outburst of ‘leave me alone!’ will only serve to make your child feel neglected and unhappy.
You should be ashamed of yourself
This statement would be harsh to anyone, but particularly to your children – there are kinder ways to show that you’re unhappy with something your child has said or done, without resorting to this.
You’re just like your father/mother
Marriages are difficult sometimes, and not all couples live together happily. Whatever the state of your relationship, you shouldn’t involve your children – it only leads to your child losing respect for both of you.
You always find ways to hurt me
Sometimes your child will say things that are hurtful, but for the most part these will be unintentional. Saying something like the above will just make your kids feel guilty for their decision, and while it may not be how you would have done things, you should respect their decisions.
It’s better to be childless than have a kid like you
This is the most hurtful and spiteful thing you can say to your child, so no matter what the situation, this could be a statement you end up regretting for the rest of your life.
Get rid of the bad company of your friends
No-one thinks before making friends, so sometimes we end up in the company of bad people. This is simply something we all learn from experience, so your words on the matter will likely be ignored.