Money is often the biggest problem in a relationship. Even the happiest of the couples can be torn apart by arguments over shared finances. That’s why, before considering moving in together, it’s a good idea to sit down and discuss where your relationship is going in respect to your finances. It’s a tricky issue to tackle but if you don’t, your relationship could be doomed from the start.
Everyone has a different way of managing their finances, especially when it comes to prioritising day-to-day expenditure. What’s important to one person may not be a priority for another, so before you move in together, sit down and reconcile your approaches.
When two become one When you’re thinking about sharing a life together and all the things that come with it, such as where to live, shared possessions, holidays, or even starting a family, it’s easy to get so caught up in the romance of it all that you forget all these things require financing. And it’s only a matter of time before there’s a disagreement about who’s picking up the next bill, or why there’s not enough money in the kitty for a holiday this year.
The courting is over To begin with, you’re not dating anymore, you are in a committed relationship. Hopefully, at this stage, both of you contribute to a night out or a meal at your favourite restaurant. If one of you earns more, should that person contribute more? Agree, for example, whether the highest earner pays for two out of every three dates. It’s vital that you’re both honest about your financial circumstances. An unpleasant surprise a few months down the line, such as finding out about your partner’s bad credit history is a serious setback for a relationship, as it can affect your ability to secure a mortgage..
Financial planning for the future Disclose all of your earnings, outgoings and debts. Once you have an idea of where you stand financially, then you can start planning for your financial future together.
Ask questions such as:
- How will we share the rent or mortgage?
- Who pays for general household bills?
- How much do you expect to budget for food?
- How much do you intend saving for holidays or a rainy day?
These are all crucial questions that need to be answered before you move into your first home together – if you want your relationship to last.
It’s all about compromise Agree in advance what major purchases you need to make. While you may have your heart set on a state-of-the-art entertainment system, your partner might have an eye on a larger refrigerator, a squashy leather sofa or a super king-sized bed.It’s all about agreement and consent, but that doesn’t mean one person can’t take control of all the household finances. Some people are simply better at handling financial matters than others
Once you’ve agreed on the basics, it’s down to trial and error. Just remember that no couple will get through life without some disagreements over money from time to time.