Wanting to hit your partner over the head with a frying pan from time to time is perfectly normal. But if you’re constantly coming up against the same relationship problems, time and again, you need to solve the conflict to move forward as a happier, healthier, more-connected couple.
When you have the same fight over and over again, whether it’s about chores or leaving the loo seat up, it forms a bad repeating pattern. The only sure way out of recurring conflicts is to recognise the patterns and do something different to change them. No partnership is free of these patterns and, without help, they can destroy an otherwise loving relationship. Here are a few tips for saving a struggling relationship:
- If you are not in the mood for sex but your partner is, make an effort anyway and go for it, because once you begin, you will not want to stop. It is all about the right mindset.
- Never go to bed angry on a unresolved argument, but at the same time don’t stay up all night fighting. Often things look better the next day, so call a truce and sleep on it.
- Don’t expect your partner to be a mind reader. How can someone know what you need if you are not being open, honest and communicating? Open up about something that you’ve been keeping to yourself. It doesn’t have to be big and dramatic. People can only be there for us if we let them.
- Don’t feel resentful about doing all the household chores. Instead of impossible solutions, look to make small changes that can improve situations by encouraging your partner to help out occasionally.
- If you feel dissatisfied with your life, don’t assume it’s your relationship. What other adjustments could you make to feel happier with your place as a couple in the world? Maybe both of you need to take a small step towards a hobby or more fulfilling activities.
- Start over again and again. A new day is a new chance to practice giving and receiving love.