Once broken, can be mended… but what do we do with the crack?
Initiating a relationship seems easy, maintaining it is arduous, but mending the tarnished bond, the most challenging. Lies, anger, violence, alcohol and tobacco use, infidelity; all are the harbingers of suspicion in a relationship. When one has erred and the pain has been inflicted, wounds can get hard to heal. Trust is the foundation stone of any long-lasting bond, loss of which results in insecurity, disregard, and lack of confidence, drowning the members of the dyad in a sea of insecurity. As much as one tries to turn a new leaf and target a fresh start, the lurking memories predispose ghastly nightmares and soundness in the relationship becomes a rarity.
When the couple has decided to make a clean start, it really has to be ‘clean’, thus self-exposure and acceptance of mistakes is a good beginning. Both members must be willing to go through the heat of the process and allow themselves to bear the pain and come out both victorious. It’s a chance they both must be willing to give themselves; one, to trust the other, again and the other to be willing to live up to the faith. Expressing emotions allows the other to reappraise the misconduct (whether it was drug or alcohol use or a lie or infidelity too) and gives the couple a chance to support each other through both their turmoil.
Rekindling the spark in the relationship, retaking commitment vows, reliving that first touch, first kiss, first intercourse, all are steps to reviving the relationship and building it from scratch once again. It is a tantalizing and intimidating task, like taking a leap into the unknown. Once bitten, twice shy but, then, it’s all about the leap of faith. It’s acceptable to make mistakes, but it’s offensive to repeat them. So for those looking to rebuild that bond, remember that we don’t get second chances often, so one must be kind enough to give them and at the same time to be sensible enough to put them to good use.