Holding down a relationship is hard enough at the best of times, but when that relationship is with a
co-worker, it can be harder than ever. According to international surveys, as many as four in ten people have had a relationship with a work colleague. More shockingly, 10% of people have admitted to having sex at work.
In the modern age, relationships in the workplace aren’t as frowned upon as they were in the past. Despite that, three quarters of employees say they wouldn’t reveal a work relationship to their boss. At the same time, around 15% of people say an office romance has affected their work, so it’s hardly surprising to discover that HR experts advise companies to ensure they have an official policy in place so employees know exactly where they stand. That said, it’s thought that just one in five companies have guidelines on romantic relationships at work.
More people are falling in love at work than ever
Men and women are now working more closely together, on equal terms and in more equal numbers. And even though employees spend most of their working day working, social media such as Facebook and Twitter has made it easier for people to flirt with colleagues both in and outside of work, too. That, along with spending longer hours at work, especially in the evening, means more people than ever are finding love at work.
This phenomenon is backed by research statistics. Those in the catering industry are more likely to find a partner at work according to US firm, Payscale. Katie Bardaro, the company’s lead economist says, “In general, the jobs in which people are most likely to find love at work are those with unusual work schedules; likely due to the fact that they often are working during prime dating hours. Food service managers are one example of this. Being in the hospitality industry, they often have schedules that don’t allow for a lot of time to look for love outside of work.”
Career expert and best-selling author, Nicole Williams says it’s unrealistic for employers to not expect their staff to find partners at work, since they spend so much time there: “We spend over 70% of our time at the office. Work is where we spend our days, explore ourselves and build our networks. So why would dating be excluded?”
No kissing in the corridors
Just how successful those relationships are, is another matter. When you work with someone you love, the office can become a minefield of gossip and distraction that can affect your work.
Both Williams and Bardaro agree there should be guidelines in place. “Blatant and indiscreet PDA (Public Displays of Affection) is difficult to stomach at the best of times and it certainly doesn’t belong at work. No one wants to watch you make out in the office corridor.”
Of course, having a relationship with the boss is a particularly troublesome area that can lead to conflicts of interest and alter your relationship with co-workers. Perhaps worse still is the situation where one, or even both employees are already in a relationship. Not only does this to lead to office gossip, it can also mean a loss of professional credibility.
Making it work
Even if your company doesn’t have an official policy on romantic relationships at work, there are unwritten rules that need to be followed. Try to focus on your professional performance and have clear boundaries on what is appropriate and what is not.
Williams advises couples to talk at the beginning of the relationship about how you will deal with each other in the event of a break-up: “In my experience, it’s not the romance that’s the issue, it’s the break-up. It’s difficult to face your ex each and every day and you face the potential of inflicting that discomfort on your co-workers (to your professional demise) unless you have an agreement you can keep for how you will treat one another if the relationship goes downhill.”
However, more and more people and finding love and life partners in the workplace and that doesn’t look likely to change anytime soon. If you think that the relationship will flourish and you want less chance of it affecting your work, one solution is to ask to be moved to another department.
When it comes to dating at work, it’s important for both parties to weigh up the risks and implications at the beginning. Losing your heart could mean losing your job. On the other hand, it could mean gaining a loving partner for life.