It’s not something that most parents would admit to. But studies show that many parents with more than one child secretly have a favourite. In a survey of 768 parents, conducted by the University of California, researchers found that 70% of mothers and 74% of fathers do have a favourite child.
So while you may feel guilty for feeling more warmly towards one of your offspring, you can take heart in the fact that you’re not alone.
Of course, the reality is not as straightforward as simply liking one child more than another. For many parents, their favourite child changes depending on the stage they are at in their lives. For example, an adorable baby may be easier to cope with than a demanding toddler but then as the children get older the favourite changes as the older child becomes calmer and the baby hits the terrible twos.
For some parents, the favourite is often the one that they feel is most like themselves – in both looks and/or personality. While for others, a child that is too much like themselves might cause conflict.
The important thing, of course, is to remember that preferring the company of one child doesn’t mean that you love the others less. The other crucial thing is to never let your children know that you have a favourite. They may work it out for themselves but don’t openly admit to preferring one child over another, otherwise you can create a lifetime of rivalry between siblings and self-esteem issues for those who don’t feel they are the favourite.