When disagreements arise in a relationship, people tend to go down one of two routes – vocal arguments or silently seething. And while shouting is rarely a good way to tackle disagreements, giving your partner the silent treatment isn’t helpful, either.
The silent treatment is a form of aggression. It may not seem like it but refusing to talk during an argument can be just as harmful as shouting at someone. It’s a form of control and can leave the other person feeling hurt and frustrated as you refuse to discuss the issues you are facing.
If you avoid discussing your problems, they will only grow. Whether it’s an argument about housework, family dynamics, money, or something else, when you bury your head in the sand, the problems don’t go away but instead grow and become more serious. When you refuse to talk through your problems, they will keep resurfacing every few months until small issues become big problems.
The ironic thing is, if you’re giving your partner the silent treatment, you’re probably assuming they know why you’re in a bad mood. But the truth is they may be completely oblivious. This means they may not even realise they’ve done something to upset you. So, while you’re quietly seething, they have no clue that you’re upset and in turn you’re not giving them the chance to change their behaviour or help resolve a disagreement.
What’s the alternative? Obviously, you don’t want to replace the silent treatment with shouting so the trick is to find the middle ground. Sit down with your partner and discuss the issues that are upsetting you in a constructive manner.
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