I hate jet skis. They are noisy and their mere presence disrupts an otherwise glorious and serene day on the water.
So I was less than impressed to receive a media release from the Gold Coast Marine Expo extolling the “virtues” of a new, noisy and very annoying toy – the Jetovator. The release states:
Richard Gregg from Jetpack Adventures says the Jetovator has already taken the US market by storm and was developed as a result of growing demand for innovative and exciting water sports experiences.
“The Jetovator takes the fun to a whole new level,” says Richard. “It allows almost anyone with a personal water craft to start performing stunts like backflips, barrel roles and corkscrews – they can transform their everyday selves into the superhero they always knew they were born to be!”
The Jetovator – inspired by the thrilling JetPack – works by tapping the thrust of a jetski and redirecting it through 40 feet of hose tethered to a specially made, lightweight and bouyant bike frame. Riders are propelled skyward for aerial antics up to 25 feet above the water, can dive daringly to 10 feet below the surface, or leisurely cruise along at 25mph.
Yeah right!
Look I’m sure they are a lot of fun, and in the right place – well away from sailing craft and swimmers – they should be allowed to operate. But I hope they are not permitted anywhere near marinas or in enclosed harbours. And sailors should be allowed a bag limit of three a day.
I believe Leunig says it best:
Jet-ski person, selfish fink
May your silly jet-ski sink
May you hit a pile of rocks
Oh hoonish, summer coastal pox.
Noisy smoking dickhead fool,
On your loathsome leisure tool,
Give us all a jolly lark
And sink beside a hungry shark.
Scream as in its fangs you go:
You last attention-seeking show.
While on the beach we all join in,
With “three cheers for the dorsal fin!”
– Roger McMillan, editor
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