One of the pleasures of dipping your feet in the dating pool is the variety of people you’ll meet—some of whom have long-term potential and others who won’t last beyond dinner and a movie. But what separates the keepers from the losers?
Mr Distant
Different people have different reasons for dating, but most of us crave a deep emotional connection with our guy. Even when there’s sheet-burning sex, we still need soul. So when that’s missing, it’s hard to carry a relationship through. Emotional incompatibility can arise when your partner is apathetic or when he is too clingy, needy or demanding. Besides these factors, a guy with emotional baggage who cannot get over his past is also a pain to deal with.
Mr Cold Shower
If you are lucky, you and your man will be in complete sexual sync. When the action in bed, however, is mostly lukewarm, it’s time to reconsider your relationship. After all, it’s better to find out when you are dating than suffer a lifetime of sexual misses.
Mr Moody
Behavioural issues and disturbing personality traits often show up only when the initial rosy days are over. So while he might suddenly get to see your less-than-charming crazy side, don’t be surprised if his undesirable traits start showing up too. Then the challenge is to decide what is acceptable to you and what is non-negotiable. Have zero tolerance for violence, physical or verbal. Grown men rarely change so if you suspect that he has anger management issues that manifest as abuse, move away.
Mr Chauvinist
You can tell a lot about a guy from the way he treats other women. Is he a misogynist? Is his attitude towards women disparaging? Misogyny and patriarchal attitudes are culturally ingrained in some Indian men; there are, however, many who have managed to rise above that and have evolved. So there’s no need to go lowering your standards.
Mr Player
This one is a no-brainer. If a man is unfaithful to you when you are dating, consider what he will be like when you are in a long-term relationship. Although different people have different thresholds when it comes to tolerance to infidelity—for example, you might be okay with him flirting if he goes home with you or you might turn a blind eye to his sexual escapades because you love him—you have to decide right at the outset how much you are willing to take and for how long.
Mr Know-It-All
Having a boyfriend who is smart is great. There’s a lot to learn from him and healthy debates could lead to you forming a stronger opinion on things. This, however, is not so pleasant if your guy is an annoying know-it-all and has something to say about every little thing. Or if he has to win every argument. To say it would drive you nuts is an understatement.
Mr Still A Child
It’s okay to not have an idea about the future—we’re all trying to figure it out after all. But dating a guy who has absolutely no motivation or some sort of a plan may not be the best. If his only plan is to take loans from Bank of Dad, run miles away. You don’t want to date a man-child and you definitely don’t want to be his mother instead of girlfriend.
Mr I Can’t Commit
This guy seems perfect, he’s everything you want but there’s one tiny catch. Every time you mention anything about the future, he freezes over and you are greeted with deathly silence or he brushes it off. The two of you need to be on the same page if you want this to work out. And staying with him in the hope of curing his commitment issues isn’t going to work either.
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