Last year, a study from Michigan State University, covering close to three lakh people around the world, showed that friends could make you healthier and happier than your kith and kin. No matter what any scientific research shows, the fact of the matter is that friends can also make us sad, depressed and stressed beyond redemption sometimes. There are good friendships and there are toxic friendships. While some friendships last forever, others fall by the wayside.
And then, there are those friendships that are difficult to let go of even if you know that they are hurting you and making you feel miserable. These may be friends who have started maligning you or are jealous of your success or have been backstabbing or manipulating you. So, if you realise that certain friends in your life no longer have your best interests at heart, it’s time to let go of them. Granted, it’s easier said than done – after all, you may have grown up together or have worked together or have shared life’s ups and downs with each other. Yet irreconcilable differences can crop up and you can end up feeling short-changed. So, how do you move on?
Give him or her enough rope
To hang himself or herself, as the saying goes. In other words, make him or her go on making mistakes, that hurt your friendship, for a while. Define to yourself your endurance limit – how much can you take? Forgive the first few instances, but if they continue hurting you or disrespecting your feelings in any way, distance yourself slowly till you think you are ready to sever ties once and for all.
Look inward
It takes two to tango. So first check if you too have hurt your friend in any way. Be honest to yourself. If there was any fault on your part, apologise. But even if your apology fails to stop your friend from behaving oddly or maliciously with you, make peace with yourself and move on. Tell yourself, it’s not your fault.
Zero tolerance for betrayal
Have a policy of sorts; you will have a zero tolerance for betrayal from your so-called trusted friends. If you are loyal to your friends, you can, of course, expect the same from them. But if there’s a breach of trust or confidentiality, don’t feel bad about walking out of the friendship right away.
Avoid online showdowns
No matter how much you are provoked online by your friend, don’t participate in showdowns or muckraking on social media. Maintain your dignity and abide by social media etiquette. If you do not want to make your differences public, you are well within your rights to not react. If your friends continue trolling you online, confront him or her and engage in a civil discussion of issues at hand.
Focus on healthy friendships
There’s yet another way of keeping toxic friends at bay. Without taking any action against friends who have caused you harm, turn your whole focus on your other healthy friendships. Ignore your malicious friends and spend quality time with those who stand by you, come rain or shine.
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