Let's face it—by and large, extroverts dominate the world, while, left to their quiet inner world of thoughts and feelings, introverts often get undervalued. If you are an extrovert and you are dating an introvert, you could face some issues in your relationship. Here's what you can do to minimise friction:
Know the differences
Do not think that an introvert is just a shy person who gets tongue-tied during his or her social interactions. In reality, introversion is more complex than this. There are subtle differences between shyness and introversion. A shy person will normally fear social judgement and is likely to be more self-conscious where as an introvert will enjoy their own world of contemplative living. Therefore, we should first know the basic things about introversion. If your partner is a natural introvert, accept it. Try to understand what goes on in his solo world and how he normally wants to interact with people around him. If you want to read up on introversion, Susan Cain's seminal book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, can be a starting point.
Don't push
Your partner might not want to attend all the parties and gatherings you as a couple are invited to. Don't force him to attend these. Introverts may not be outgoing, but they are not totally reclusive—they usually like to stick to their own set of people whom they are comfortable with. So, keep his preferences in mind and select the dos accordingly. Also, don't worry if he doesn't mix with too many people at a gathering—an introvert has his or her own way of networking.
Avoid aggression
If you have a fight, avoid overtly aggressive arguments with your partner, if he is an introvert. The more aggressive you become, the greater will be his tendency to retreat into a shell, experts say. So if there are issues in your relationship, try to resolve conflicts in an amicable manner. On top of everything, introverts are said to be great listeners. So communicate calmly and frankly, the results are bound to be satisfying.
Introvert, so what?
Don't harp on the fact that he's an introvert. Forget social labels. He's an individual and if he's happy restricting himself to his inner world, so be it. Respect his space and do not think that his 'me-time' is a selfish act—don't take it personally. Try to adjust to each other's preferences.
Middle ground
If your SO is an introvert, don't expect him to be taking charge all the time. He might have a tough expressing or articulating his feelings as well; he might not even make the first move. Again don't take it personally. So keep it easy for him—you cannot read his mind, true, but you can always look for hints.
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