In all probability, you are in a healthy relationship. Yet, do you fear being cheated on by your partner? Maybe you've had unpleasant experiences in the past – you may have dated men for whom fidelity was never a strong point. But the bitter aftertaste remains and you worry that your present relationship might also end because of your partner's unfaithfulness, even though you have no proof that he isn't being loyal. In fact, you worry so much that it's taking a toll on your relationship. So how do you deal with this fear?
Let go of the past
That should be your starting point. History doesn't always repeat itself. So your ex or ex-es might have cheated on you in the past, but that doesn't mean that your future relationships too will show the same pattern. It's a clean slate, so start creating fresh memories. On top of everything, your present partner is a different individual, so there's no need for irrational comparisons.
Confront negative thoughts
If, at any point, you feel that you are in the throes of relationship insecurities and suspicion, make a conscious effort to write those thoughts down or discuss these with your closest friend. Force yourself to recognise how irrational your thoughts can be.
Heart talk
If you feel that your misgivings are getting out of control, take your partner into confidence. Don't worry about what he may think of you after this. If something irks you, share it with the person you love the most. If he is a caring person, he will empathise and allay your fears.
Don't trust your gut
Don't bank too much on gut feelings or your sixth sense. You may sense that something is amiss, but it may not always be an issue of infidelity. There can be other issues in the relationship that can be making you feel insecure. So, observe, introspect, analyse and then draw conclusions.
Go for therapy
If your paranoia refuses to go, seek counselling. That can help you to put to rest your fears.
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