How to Respond When Someone Asks, ‘Am I Ugly?’

Why do women ask some version of “Am I Ugly?” or “How Do I Look?”

I believe there could be many reasons why a woman might ask, depending on her level of confidence, her life experiences, what is currently happening in her life and the nature of your relationship with her.


Her reason for asking a female friend may be very different than her reasons for asking a guy she just met at a bar. Her level of self-awareness is another factor. Is she aware of how she feels, or is it subconscious? When someone asks your this question, it’s helpful if you have some understanding of what she truly wants in response — the truth or reassurance.


And if you are someone who ever asks these types of questions, as you read, try seeing if you can recognize what your own reasons might be. How you choose to respond may change based on the reason someone is asking the question, so explore their motivation before deciding what to say.


Here are just 7 of the reasons women ask, “Am I ugly?”


1. They may feel invisible and want to be noticed

2. They may want a deeper connection with their partner

3. They may want a deeper connection with a female friend

4. They may want reassurance in general

5. They want reassurance about something specific

6. They may feel depressed or worthless

7. They may want to know the truth


Women often look outward for acknowledgement rather than finding it in ourselves.


Much of the reason for this is that society still sends the message to girls that they are valued more for their appearance than they are for their achievements or character. For the most part, men get to be more practical. They shave, wash their face, get dressed and go. Many times they don’t seem to care what they are wearing as long as they are comfortable.


However, when a woman picks a healthy partner who loves her for who she is, he doesn’t care as much about the superficial things. He cares most about how his woman makes him feel. If she respects him and appreciates him for all he does and shows her love for him, most men will be happy. People will like you and respect you because you care, listen, support and honor them, not because you lost or gained 10 pounds.


You can connect superficially or connect heart-to-heart and soul-to-soul with the people.


How you look and what you wear is not critical to building close, healthy and successful relationships (unless maybe you're a model). Every one of us is born with gifts. Discover and honor your own. Single women often think that when they get married, they will feel better about themselves, but that’s not true. Many married women still push love away. How can you let love in from another when you don’t love yourself.


If you often ask others “Am I ugly?”, it’s time to start showing more love to yourself.


You deserve to honor and respect yourself. There’s no one more important to have recognize your inner beauty than you!

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