While men can orgasm easily, it isn’t that easy for women. The female sex organs are difficult to navigate, making ‘coming’ a tricky situation for females. Unfortunately, the internet, films and books have done nothing to explain this fact to people – they make it seem as though orgasms are easily achieved as a woman, which can paint an inaccurate picture that leads to frustration and a lack of confidence when it doesn’t pan out in reality. It’s an embarrassing topic to bring up with other people, so many people don’t know how to overcome the problem – furthermore, as the female orgasm isn’t necessary in order to conceive, most doctors don’t place a lot of importance on the female orgasm. Currently, this is changing though, with many studies now looking into the value of the female climax. Compared to just a century ago, when experts believed women were incapable of having an orgasm, we now know that not only are women capable of orgasming but that they can also have multiple orgasms. Many young women are worried about their inability to climax, but for the majority of women this merely takes practice – this can be through masturbating or through sexual experiences which allow them to learn about their body, and what works for them sexually. In fact, studies show that 47 percent of people climax for the first time through masturbation. Furthermore, 20 percent climax for the first time through sexual intercourse, 20 percent through petting and one percent whilst sleeping! The average age for a woman’s first orgasm is 18, though many woman don’t achieve their first orgasm until their 40s.
Women in their late teens and 20s get frustrated about their inability to orgasm, but for most of these women it is merely a lack of experience. Masturbating, as previously mentioned, is the key way to learn about your body’s natural responses and rhythms which you can then teach to your partner so that they can help you achieve orgasm during sex. By the time you reach your 30s, 40s or 50s, you should be able to reach orgasm fairly easily – however, some women find their ability to climax changes depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. Most women require clitoral stimulation in order to climax – there is a difference between a vaginal orgasm and a clitoral one. While some women can come through intercourse alone, the majority of women need some form of stimulation as well, whether that’s foreplay or being stimulated during intercourse. Many women complain that they can’t achieve simultaneous orgasms with their partner, but this is actually quite a rarity – it’s rare for partners to orgasm at the same time. If a man has a good control of his orgasm, he can usually maintain it until the woman is ready to climax as well.
A woman’s partner can help by being supportive of the problem and ensuring that they pay attention to their partners needs during sex. It’s important to remember that a woman needs stimulation during sex, so simply rushing into sex without this necessary part won’t help – you could try by taking things slowly and paying extra attention to foreplay so that they are fully aroused before intercourse begins. Oral sex can be a great way to stimulate the clitoris and increase intimacy between you, as can using sex toys if you find that stimulation during intercourse difficult. Some couples find it useful to have some sex sessions where there’s no emphasis on the climax – it can be a great way to learn about each other’s bodies and find out what you both like.
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