Parenting’s a tricky thing but it’s also one of the most rewarding things you can do. The issue comes from treading the fine line between supporting your child and overindulging them, it’s important that they come from an environment of love and compassion but it’s also important that they’ve got discipline and structure in their lives and at times it can seems like the two things are mutually exclusive. Striking the balance can be similar to walking a tightrope with being too harsh on one side and being too allowing on the other, it’s very easy to fall one way or the other but the best route is the straight and narrow along the rope.
Authoritative parenting might have good early results but it fails late in the game because teenagers rebel. Is doesn’t matter what kind of parent you are, in their teenage years kids are going to try and make a right angle away from you. I’m sure you did the same thing and the trick is to be open and calm. Don’t come down too hard and certainly don’t let them get away with everything. Don’t be afraid to be the bad guy but remember to keep those lines of communication open because those little lines will become highways in the years to come, when they’ve grown out of the need to rebel and are looking to connect again.
The issue with authoritative parenting is that it’s so strict and so harsh that kids will go that extra mile to rebel against it. This could lead them a long way off the rails and into all sorts of unpleasantness which you as parents will certainly want to prevent. Being stricter with them might actually cause them to be worse.
Parenting is hard and there’s no doubt about it but by finding the right balance of discipline and openness you can allow their rebellion while maintaining the kind of connection which will become important in later years.
Parents often think that being extremely strict with their children will lead to better behaviour. However research studies continue to show that authoritarian style parenting actually causes the opposite. A new study from the University of New Hampshire finds that parents who are non-flexible in their approach – “my way or the highway” as some would say – are more likely to have children who are disrespectful and delinquent.
A team of researchers led by Rick Trinkner, a doctoral candidate at UNH, analysed data from the ongoing New Hampshire Youth Study which examines the psychological, sociological, developmental and legal factors that influence delinquency among middle and high school students. Data was collected over an 18-month period beginning in the fall of 2007.
The researchers evaluated three parenting styles: authoritative (demanding and controlling, but still receptive to children’s needs), permissive (non-demanding, non-controlling), and authoritarian (rules established unilaterally without explanation).
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