We’ve enlisted comedians, some based here and others who spend their time on the road and come through Vegas, to share their recommendations on great places to dine in Sin City for a feature dubbed Comedian Confidential.
You know comedian David Spade, the former snarky Saturday Night Live cast member. He starred on Just Shoot Me! and Rules of Engagement on television and Joe Dirt and Tommy Boy on the big screen. Now he practically has a second home here in Vegas since he performs so much at the Venetian. He’s there this weekend, dishing out his sarcastic one liners and observations on Vegas. Here he shares some of his favorite restaurants in Las Vegas, why he rarely leaves his hotel and why he thinks nightclubs are a shakedown.
Do you remember your first trip to Vegas?
The first time I did Vegas was before I was on Saturday Night Live. I spent a week at the Riviera for $500. Three shows a night, 12 to 14 minutes a night, 21 shows. I would sit by the pool and listen to my Walkman. I was happy I got $500. At the end of the week, they would try to pay you with chips. I had to walk through the casino to cash them.
Do you have any favorite restaurants you like to visit here?
Lavo and Tao. I’m lucky They’re great. They’re in the hotel.
People don’t know. When I’m in Vegas, I might as well be on Mars. It’s hard to get me in a cab. When it’s crunch time, it’s a mile to the hotel, a mile to the cab, a mile in the hotel. Everybody better come my way.
STK at the Cosmopolitan, that’s a fun one for me.
Isn’t it too dark in there? I can never see anything.
I have night vision with girls. I can see them.
They have cute waitresses there. They have music but not quite as loud at a club scene. If I have to scream my jokes twice it’s not as effective.
Did you hear about the tornados?
New Hampshire?
Forty people died.
Oh, yeah.
Are you just guessing the answers to my questions?
What about nightlife? Do you ever go out after a show to unwind?
I do. I got tricked. Guy comes over. “You want some ladies at your booth?” No. “I’ll bring some anyway.”
I already bought these bottles. They have these professional bottle vampires. They turn the bottle upside down and chomp on it like a gerbil.
They bank on the fact that you don’t know what’s happening. It’s a bit of a shakedown.
I can’t stay up that late. That’s my first sign of being old, when I put an exclamation and a question mark after anything.
What was the first thing that shocked you in Las Vegas?
Maybe the amount of drunks. I’m no prude. The people piling off Southwest flights hammered. You have to pace it out.
Or the amount of strippers on Southwest. You talk to them on the flight and ask what they’re doing in Vegas.
“Just working.” Got it.
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