One of Britain’s leading parenting experts has angered fathers’ rights groups by claiming that young children of separated couples should not be allowed to stay the night with their fathers.
Psychologist Penelope Leach, whose parenting books have sold millions, claims that, as a general rule, children aged four and under should not be separated from their mother by having a “sleepover” with the father, when couples have separated.
In her new book, Family Breakdown, Ms Leach, a former president of the National Childminding Association, says attempts by separated parents to “share” young children is putting “adult rights” above those of children, and that there is “undisputed” evidence that separating children from their mothers “reduces brain development” and creates a tendency toward “unhealthy attachment issues”.
Published this week, the book argues that “we can do divorce and separation better in terms of what the child needs”, but it has already angered fathers’ rights campaigners with the claim that, as a general rule, children aged four and under should not be separated from their mother to stay the night with the father.
Until now, Ms Leach has been best-known for her bestselling book Your Baby & Child: From Birth to Age Five, published in 1977. It caused intense controversy by arguing that only mothers can care adequately for their children and that the paternal role is of only secondary importance.
In her latest book, she argues that “when people say that it’s ‘only fair’ for a father and mother to share their five-year-old daughter on alternate weeks, they mean it is fair to the adults – who see her as a possession and her presence as their right – not that it is fair to the child”.
It also takes aim at the family-law profession by arguing that “when a lawyer bids for his client to have his baby or toddler to stay overnight each weekend they are both ignoring clear evidence that such overnight separations from the mother are not only usually distressing, but also potentially damaging to the brain development and secure attachment of children under about four”.
A spokesman for New Father’s 4 Justice group said: “Leach’s advice sounds like absolute poison and potentially terribly damaging to children’s development. Overnight stays with fathers from as early an age as possible is crucial if children are to form strong attachments with both of their parents.”
Ian Maxwell, of the charity Families Need Fathers, said Ms Leach’s argument was “worrying” for fathers and went against “common sense”. “The bond between fathers and children is just as important.” “The idea [of] maternal bonds being the strongest goes back to classic attachment theory, and I think we’ve moved on quite considerably since then – and also the involvement of fathers in their children’s lives has also developed quite considerably.”
This was a view echoed by Dr Linda Nielsen, writing recently for the American Psychological Association. She said that arguments in favour of mother-only parenting only appealed to people who rely on the outdated argument that “females have a maternal instinct or neurological structures in their brains that better equip them to bond and communicate with infants”.
Ms Leach strongly defended her position last night, arguing that “being a father is not a reward for good behaviour”.
She added that the rights of a child must always outweigh those of the parents, and challenged the idea that “equal parenting ought to be equal numbers of days and nights with each parent, without regard with what is best for the individual child. It can be damaging to the child to divide time equally between the parents.”
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