Relationship Texting: When Not to Text

In some situations, texts are the perfect method of communication. For example, sending a note to say you’re running late, asking your partner a quick questions whilst they are at work, or checking what time your teen will be home without embarrassing them in front of their mates. However there are some times when it’s important not to text and instead pick up the phone or talk face to face.

Constantly using text to talk to loved ones can sometimes put a strain on relationships as it’s difficult to chat naturally via text. When we talk face-to-face, we can pick up on the other person’s expressions and body language and moderate our words accordingly. Even on the phone, you can tell whether someone is happy, angry or sarcastic in a way that’s more difficult by text.

Here are some occasions when you should pick up the phone or see a person face-to-face, rather than relying on text.

One of the most important times to avoid communicating by text is when you’re having an argument. Words can seem much harsher when written down and it’s impossible to judge how upset the other person is when you cannot see or hear them. It’s also important to remember that if you conduct an argument by text, there is a permanent record showing exactly what you said and your words could be used against you in the future.

Important dates
Don’t text family members to wish them a happy birthday – pick up the phone, or even better go and see them instead.

Exciting news
If you have exciting news to share, it’s a great excuse to actually ring or visit your loved ones. Sure, it’s quicker to send a text but special times should be treasured so make the extra effort and actually go see people.

Bad news
Nobody likes to be the bearer of bad news and sometimes it might seem much easier to break bad news by text rather than having an awkward conversation. But the nature of texts means they are usually too blunt to give bad news gently. In addition people often need emotional support when they receive bad news so even if you can’t meet them in person, at least pick up the phone.

Long-winded conversations
If a conversation is going backwards and forwards, it may be quicker all round to just pick up the phone and have an old-fashioned conversation. It’s also important to be respectful of the people you are with when you are texting. Nobody likes to feel that the phone is more important than they are, so don’t have a conversation by text with someone who isn’t there at the cost of ignoring the friends you are actually with.

Non-essential Communication
Sending a text is so cheap and easy, it can be tempting to text your partner with every little detail, especially when you are feeling bored. The problem is that if you text all day long, it can leave you with nothing to say to each other when you eventually meet up again in the evening. So keep your texts for the urgent messages, and save your other news and thoughts for quality conversations when you are together.

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