There’s no denying that certain things in life just get under your skin. If something pushes your buttons, you can go from feeling fine to angry to utterly helpless in a matter of minutes. Life’s big irritations take their toll on your emotional wellness, which, in turn, impacts your overall wellbeing. Why is it so impossible to let things go? Even if you “move on”, you often find that you’ve only secretly let things build and fester until the next irritation comes along and it all gets blown way out of proportion. Isn’t there a better way to take control?
Anger is a natural part of your genetic make-up, allowing you to fight back when your wellness is threatened. The problems with irritants start when you don’t address what’s bothering you, as this only lets the anger eat away at you. Then, even the smallest thing can set you off, and cause way more damage to all involved that if you had just released those thoughts initially. You need to let it out, before you can let it go.
Other people’s behaviour tends to trigger the irritations that grow out of all proportion. An annoying thing that a friend does once or twice can make you see that behaviour in them all the time, and build it up so that it influences all of your memories and interactions with that person. Suddenly, a good friend, who did the odd annoying thing, is now the most irritating person you know! Change how your brain operates, by stepping back, taking a few deep breaths, and counting to ten. This allows you to see exactly what’s happening, before asking yourself “what it is about this, that’s making me so angry?” If the behaviour is pushing past buttons, then address those issues it’s tapping into and send the anger back to where it belongs.
Finally, remember that reacting in the heat of the moment is never going to be the answer to any situation. Your emotions get in the way of your rational thinking, and so you can demonstrate stronger reactions than you actually feel, or are appropriate to the situation. Learn to step back, evaluate and deal with the irritants that you can control, and to release and tolerate the rest. If in doubt, just walk away and breathe.
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