Boys and their Toys: What to Do If Your Partner Plays

There’s nothing wrong with boys and their toys, and your husband and son playing video games together can be a good way to bond, but what about when family wellness suffers? What happens when your partner spends too much time in virtual reality, and not enough time helping with your other children or with chores around the house?

In this situation, the chances are that you’ve begged, pleaded and nagged him about his game playing, all to no avail. Being in this type of relationship is certainly no fun, and can take its toll on your relationship wellness, as well as your personal sense of wellbeing. It is not uncommon to feel neglected or that you are pulling the majority of the weight around the house and with the children. It’s easy for your partner to get lost in a video game, but this can cause you to drift apart as a result.

If this is the case, it is time to have a serious discussion. Your partner may not realise how much it bothers you, or that he is spending more time playing games than participating in the relationship. However, don’t keep nagging him but, instead, clearly tell him how you feel then leave it up to him to change. Explain that it’s not a case of giving up gaming altogether, but rather just cutting down so that he isn’t absent from important events and responsibilities. Put some boundaries in place, letting him know what you expect of him in the relationship.

Another thing you can try is suggesting you spend some quality time together, just the two of you. Whether it’s biking, going for a walk or watching a movie together, find a regular activity and time in the week where you can spend some time doing what you love to do as a couple. However, don’t make yourself readily available every time your husband is not playing video games, as he will pick up and put down the console when it suits him. Instead, find things you enjoy doing and schedule them when your husband is playing.

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